Month: October 2006 (page 1 of 4)

Happy Halloween From Your Neighborhood Idiots

We began our Halloween holiday celebration by making caramel apples…

Caramel Apples

Then, we painted pumpkins.

Pumpkin Painting

We were all pretty excited for the Halloween grand finale of Trick-or-Treating in our new neighborhood. Dave and I dressed as zombies. Julia dressed as Eeyore.

Eeyore

We packed Julia’s wagon with flashlights, umbrellas and Buckeyes as 6:30 P.M. approached, then waited and watched for signs that the big event had begun. After a full ten minutes, nothing seemed to be happening. We got in the car and drove down our lane where the houses were dark and locked up tight. We live outside the city limits, but the inhabitants of the houses on our road behave like a little community. We had asked a neighbor about Trick-or-Treat and were given the date and time. Dave and I had assumed it would go down on our road. We quickly learned that we had to go to town to participate. The big Buckeye delivery would have to wait.

By the time we arrived in town, we had 45 minutes of Trick-or-Treat time left. We found a parking spot and headed toward the busiest street. Julia’s enthusiasm began to wane as we arrived at the first house, but after a quick reminder of Trick-or-Treat ettiquette and her candy reward, she was off. It was about the third house in that the reality of Trick-or-Treat hit Julia like a bus. She was getting candy! “More candy! More candy!” she exclaimed as we moved on. After visiting another house she shouted, “Mom, I get all the Trick-or-Treats!” She was in heaven.

Even through all of her excitement, Julia didn’t want to take a chance of messing up this free candy gig and was a perfect halloweener. She was very cautious of the kids around her and was sure to say, “Excuse me” each time another trick-or-treater crossed her path. She approached each house with confidence, making eye contact and greeting the candy-givers with a cheerful, “Trick or treat!” Not only did she thank them for the candy, but added, “Happy Halloween” as she left to move on to the next home. She even made small talk when prompted.

One man asked her, “Are you Eeyore?”

“No, I’m trick or treating,” she replied earnestly. The man started to laugh and she laughed, too. She had a great time.

Dave and I, on the other hand, were feeling a little awkward. On top of the stupidity and guilt we felt for getting a late start, we were getting a lot of hard stares and few replies to our friendly hello’s as we marched along the route. We noted that neither of us had seen an adult that was dressed up. Finally, at one house, someone made mention that we were grown-ups and we were dressed up. I confessed that we were new in town and, “Don’t you do that here?” I guess not. But that didn’t matter. Julia was having fun. She was thrilled that we dressed up, too. And the thirteen I Love You’s we got along the way for being the zombies with the sweet hook-ups was worth it.

It’s Buckeye Season!

The holidays are almost here, so I’ve started to make my traditional goodies for the season: peanut butter balls, better known as Buckeyes here in Ohio.

I started making them about four years ago. I had included some in goodie baskets I’d made for Dave’s family for Christmas. I made more than enough for the baskets, so I sent the leftovers to work with Dave to share with his co-workers. Soon, I started to get requests for more. By the end of the Christmas season, I’d established a bit of a Buckeye cult following. The next year, as Thanksgiving approached, the requests for Buckeyes began to roll in. I filled each order and experimented with requests to try some variations. By the end of that year, I was offering Buckeyes with dark, milk and white chocolate. Now, I have a regular little holiday business going.

Today, I made my first batch of peanut butter balls while Dave couldn’t resist making jokes like this.

Starting out each year is great. Julia watches me as I explain the special recipe I’ve become known for and it feels good to have something of my own to pass down to her. I imagine my family, generations later, making my Buckeyes and I’m the Grandma they refer to when they say, “Just like Grandma used to make.” Then, I start to think of Harry London and how his candy-making business started out much like mine has. I dream that my Buckeye business takes off and soon I’m selling Mama Grimmett’s Goodies (that are made lovingly by hand) all over the place. It’s confectionary bliss.

A few weeks and 50 dozen later, my attitude changes. Instead of dreaming of growing my business, I’m dreaming of sleep because it’s 4AM, I haven’t been to bed yet and Julia will be up soon, but if I don’t do it now she won’t let me do it later and I’ve got a deadline…

But, today was the first day and it was grand. I made 6 dozen Buckeyes to give to our new neighbors tomorrow evening as we visit their homes for Trick-or-Treat. I’m giving each neighbor half a dozen like this:

Buckeyes

Hopefully, they’ll love the Buckeyes, love us and welcome us into their tight-knit neighborhood. Maybe we’ll all become great friends and have giant cook outs and parties together. Or maybe we’ll just be cordial and wave when we pass by. At the very least, I hope they like the Buckeyes. And us.

And I Heard The Voice Of Rosie Perez Offering Me Insight On Parenting

My experiences in Mommyhood this past week are best articulated by this quote from the movie White Men Can’t Jump:

“Sometimes when you lose you actually win and sometimes when you win you actually lose, and sometimes when you win or lose you actually tie, and sometimes when you tie you actually win or lose.”

You said it, sister. That’s just what I was thinking.

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Here is Julia getting ready to ride the tricycle she got for her second birthday.

Helmet? Check.
Knee pads? Check.
Elbow pads? Check.
Bubble wrap? Who forgot the bubble wrap?!?!

Week of Lists: 10 Ways To Get On My Poopy List

1. Eat all of the Wheat Thins and then put the empty box back in the cupboard. This way, I can feel extra disapointed when I open the box and find the crumbs staring up at me saying “See what you missed?”

2. Instead of taking out the trash when the can is full, keep jamming the refuse in there. Stack some garbage on top, perferably wet or soggy items so I can get showered with slop when I take the trash out.

3. When I say, “I’m having a bad day,” sing that song by Daniel Powter to me.

4. Use the kitchen sink as your trash can. Fill it with dishes, chunks of leftover food, napkins, food wrappers, banana peels, the works. Make sure to run some water so it’ll be nice and gross when I clean it up.

5. Leave swirly skid marks in the toilet. Just completely ignore the toilet brush that has been placed right beside it for your convenience.

6. Explode stuff in the microwave. Leave it for me to clean up.

7. Tell me the cat just puked on the floor in the bathroom. Walk me to it and point it out, but do not clean it up. Let me do it.

8. Give my daughter a popsicle for breakfast.

9. Do not replace the toilet paper roll when it runs out. Just leave the cardboard tube.

10. Ask me, “Do you mind if I ______?” Then when I tell you that I do mind and would rather you didn’t, do it anyway.

Week of Lists: Guilty Pleasures

We all have things we hate to love…or maybe we just hate to admit we love them. They’re the things you enjoy when you’re all alone or you think no one is paying attention. Guilty pleasures. Here are ten of mine, in no particular order.

1. Piggy Tails. You won’t see me poking around in public with pig tails, but I often sport them at home. They keep the hair out of my face and show a little whimsy. Who doesn’t need a little whimsy?

2. Dairy Queen Vanilla Ice Cream. The flavor…the texture…the ice cream curly cue. This stuff is like manna from heaven. It was the mainstay of my diet while I was pregnant with Julia, which is probably why she’s so darn sweet. She’s pretty much made of sugar.

3. SpongeBob Squarepants. I realize I’m not the target demographic for this show, but I just don’t care. I love SpongeBob Squarepants because of stuff like this, this and this. It’s like Monty Python for kids.

4. The Local Police Blotter. I love to read police reports in the newspaper for two reasons. The first is safety. I know the people and places to avoid because I am fully aware of the criminal activity in my neighborhood. The second reason (and here’s where the “guilty” part of this pleasure comes in) is because it is damn funny. Just about everyday there is something that makes the newspaper totally worth buying. A man tells a gas station attendant he’s not paying for his gas because, “Jesus said he’d take care of it.” and drives off. Unruly juveniles run through a store with carved pumpkins on their heads. A man calls police because a woman he was with, but didn’t know, stole his crack. Where else can you find that kind of entertainment?

5. The Other Sister (1999). This “love story for the romantically challenged” is one I have to watch if I catch it on television, whether it just started or is halfway through. I just can’t walk away. I’m not sure exactly what it is about this movie, but it makes me feel good.

6. Family Guy. It may be a cartoon, but it’s not for kids. It’s the kind of show I wouldn’t want my Grandma to know I watch. Irreverent and profane, this show goes where no other would dare. Even Mommy likes daring now and then.

7. Crunch ‘n Munch. Heaven is popcorn, peanuts and a buttery toffee coating. I almost always have a secret stash of this delicous goody somewhere in the house.

8. Acrophobia. If you have a talent for deciphering acronyms, this highly addictive, time-sucking game is for you. It goes a little something like this:

Acrobot says: The acro is: GMBD.
Leslie types: Good Men Buy Diamonds
Everyone votes.
Leslie loses to Grab My Big Dick

See how fun that is? You can play at Uproar.com.

9. She’s Having A Baby (1988). This just might be my favorite movie. Charming, funny and 98% Kevin Bacon. I especially love the fantasy sequences, like the lawn-mower dance, and the flashback scenes set to music wrench my heart just the right amount. Check out the trailer here.

10. Texas Holdem Yep. I play poker, all the while singing the chorus to “The Gambler.” I may not be the best at bluffing, but people will start folding just to get me to quit singing. I don’t care. I’ll take your chips whether I got them by outsmarting you or annoying you. Winning is winning. Right?

What are your guilty pleasures?

Week of Lists: Excuses

I didn’t post an entry here, yesterday. Thankfully, Dave was kind enough to bust something out to keep things flowing, but I am feeling pretty guilty about it. So, in honor of the WEEK OF LISTS, I am providing you, in list form, my excuses for the lack of blogging yesterday.

1. I was battling the YouTube uploader. With a toddler ruling my schedule, my computer time is sporadic and often limited. Yesterday, I spent most of my computer time trying to upload video for this post. It finally worked, but I get the feeling that YouTube hates me.

2. I was distracted. It’s hard to focus when you have this begging you for attention.

Picasso

3. I was interrupted. This is Katie, a.k.a. Damn It Katie or since Julia has started talking, Bad Katie.

Squish

Looks sweet, doesn’t she? She isn’t. We call her Bad Katie for a reason. Katie is like a rebellious teenager giving you the finger behind your back, but instead of giving me the finger she was peeing in my Longaberger basket. Her saving grace is that she is very squishy and I like that.

4. I had a date with Julia. Julia and I bought some wooden letters to paint and hang on her playroom door and I promised her we’d do that yesterday. So, we did. It took two coats of paint and two coats of sealer, with an hour of dry time between each. It was pretty much an all-day project.

The Play Room Letters

5. I had an unfortunate incident. This is where things go terribly wrong. Men, you may want to jump ship right here because I’m going to talk about woman issues. Okay? Here it is. After more than 2 years without a period (just one reason breastfeeding rocks), it returned. With.A.Vengence. After a maddening search for an appropriate product, it became clear that I just wasn’t prepared. It had been a long time since I dealt with this thing. I needed to get to the store to buy the goods, but wasn’t willing to head out unprotected. So, I made due and used a diaper to fashion what I thought was a reasonable substitute. A diaper is absorbent and disposable. It is also the funniest thing an adult can wear, according to a toddler. And when my toddler thinks something is funny, she likes to share it. Luckily, my husband arrived home, took pity on me and made the trip to the store. By that point, I was so frazzled that my mastery of language was reduced to grunts and claps (and that doesn’t translate to print too easily). So, instead of writing, I curled up on the couch with Julia and watched a full hour of Roseanne.

Hopefully, I can make up for all this by having my Guilty Pleasures list out this evening.

Week of Lists: The Dance Party

Julia and I had Dance Party Time today. This was our song list for today.

Come On Eileen by Dexy’s Midnight Runners

Down On The Corner by Creedence Clearwater Revival

The Duba Song a.k.a. HMMMBop by Hanson

Daddy’s Song a.k.a. You Sexy Thing by Hot Chocolate

Captain Crash And The Beauty Queen From Mars by Bon Jovi

Week of Lists: List of Lists

If you weren’t already aware, I like lists. They’re fun to write and they make just about anything intriguing to read. I’ve been cruising around, enjoying lots of list posts, lately and felt inspired to write a few of my own. Then I thought, “Hey, I’ll just dedicate a whole week to it. I’ll call it: WEEK OF LISTS.” I was so delighted with my grand idea, I could hardly contain my mirth…until I sat down to write my first list. My enthusiasm fizzled and my well of creativity ran dry. Everything I thought and all the things I tried to write just didn’t seem to work. Dave tried to help (*denotes suggestions by him). Here’s a list of a few of the ideas I’m considering for this week.

Favorite Interpretive Dance Songs (with a sample video included?). While I’m not formally trained, I love to create interpretive dance routines to popular songs. I’ve never performed publicly, but I get the feeling that I’m really good.

Guilty Pleasures. This list may be a bit overdone, but it’s so delicious I don’t think I can resist.

Favorite/Least Favorite Euphemisms and/or Colloquialisms. It’s six one way, half a dozen the other.

*Best/Grossest Movie Death Scenes. You know, because it’s Halloweenie.

Possible Explanations For The Bizarro Husband Phenomena. I’ve been thinking about this a lot, lately. The Bizarro Husband struck again last night. This time he was creating opportunities for female houseguests to walk in on him naked and making disparaging comments about me to another woman on the phone. Perhaps it is a result of my insecurity, a fear of abandonment, or consumption of a Mini Chips Ahoy! Go-Pack! and a Diet Dr. Pepper right before bed. It might help to sort it all out in list form.

Things I Want My Daughter To Know. If she could learn from all the mistakes I’ve made, she’ll be just about perfect.

If you have a suggestion, have at it in the comments. I can use all the help I can get!

Here’s The Bandwagon. Jump On!

My Mommy’s Place is proud to present…

That’s right.

All week, I will be posting entries in list form, like this. Why? Because it’s fun.

So, swing by. Check out my lists. Comment on them. If you have a list post this week, e-mail me. I’ll probably link to you in one of my posts.

Oh, and if you’d like to tell all your friends about the WEEK OF LISTS on your blog or website using the video or the graphic above, feel free. E-mail me if you do or if you need more information on how to get them. If you don’t want to spread the word, that’s okay. Just come by and read. And remember, cool kids comment.

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