The Hair Is Mightier Than The Sword

by Leslie

Julia had to sit in the time out chair today. After she served her full two minute sentence, I knelt down in front of her and said, “Julia, do you understand why Mommy put you in time out?”

“Yeah. I hurta Sam and slama door.”

“Yes. You were too rough with Sam. Then you ran from Mommy and slammed the door.”

“Yeah.”

“Julia, you need to be very careful with Sa-”

“Mom?” she interrupts as she leans in close to my face and touches my chin. “Where that come from? Ona chin?”

She pulled at a long, black stray hair on my chin! Okay, I could handle a gray hair on my head. I would have been alright if it was just food stuck to my face. But chin hair? CHIN HAIR?

Just as I was slipping into a spiral of vain insanity, Julia giggled. The humiliation was too much. And here’s the thing about humiliation: it strips away every emotion, every logical thought and leaves you with nothing but the stinging, burning pain of degradation. I looked at Julia and fumbled with the words to wrap things up because I had a hair to pluck.

After telling her something about being more careful and respect and listen to Mommy, I announced, “Time Out is over.” She jumped up and skipped off, bouncing and laughing. I stood there touching my chin. She supplanted my authority with a hair.

The kid is an evil genius.

Posted in Mommy's Stuff, Julia |

Comments

8 Cool Kids Came To Play

Kristen on October 20, 2006 2:02 am
I don’t know exactly when it started, but don’t feel bad. I’ve had them for a while- and they got WORSE during and since I was pregnant. I wanted to ask my gyno what the hell was up- but I’m too embarassed!
vasilisa on October 20, 2006 2:31 am
Kids… Al least they warn us before adults stare us down…
krista on October 20, 2006 8:15 am
Oh that is funny.
kelley on October 20, 2006 9:15 am
To this day, I still feel extreme guilt about the fact that I once (as a very small child) pointed-out the excess, flabby skin on my grandmother’s neck and compared it to a turkey.

That’s when Hell called to confirm my reservation.

Julia may fancy herself an evil genius now, but one day she’ll look back and cringe. You’re accumulating Guilt Points that you can one day redeem to ensure that she never puts you in a home.
Joshua Xalpharis on October 20, 2006 2:07 pm
I don’t see the big deal..

I have to deal with hundreds of them per day
My Mommy’s Place: Mommy’s Blog » Blog Archive » “Come As You Are” Blog Party on December 1, 2006 7:52 pm
[…] If you look close, you’ll probably see some hair on my chin, too. […]
My Mommy’s Place: Mommy’s Blog » Blog Archive » Because Winning Feels Really Good on April 28, 2007 11:11 pm
[…] 1. The Hair Is Mightier Than The Sword 2. The Bizarro Husband 3. Operation Buzzkill […]
This Eclectic Life on April 29, 2007 5:25 am
ROFL! It’s hard to type and giggle. Sister, I feel your pain!