We all have things we hate to love…or maybe we just hate to admit we love them. They’re the things you enjoy when you’re all alone or you think no one is paying attention. Guilty pleasures. Here are ten of mine, in no particular order.
1. Piggy Tails. You won’t see me poking around in public with pig tails, but I often sport them at home. They keep the hair out of my face and show a little whimsy. Who doesn’t need a little whimsy?
2. Dairy Queen Vanilla Ice Cream. The flavor…the texture…the ice cream curly cue. This stuff is like manna from heaven. It was the mainstay of my diet while I was pregnant with Julia, which is probably why she’s so darn sweet. She’s pretty much made of sugar.
3. SpongeBob Squarepants. I realize I’m not the target demographic for this show, but I just don’t care. I love SpongeBob Squarepants because of stuff like this, this and this. It’s like Monty Python for kids.
4. The Local Police Blotter. I love to read police reports in the newspaper for two reasons. The first is safety. I know the people and places to avoid because I am fully aware of the criminal activity in my neighborhood. The second reason (and here’s where the “guilty” part of this pleasure comes in) is because it is damn funny. Just about everyday there is something that makes the newspaper totally worth buying. A man tells a gas station attendant he’s not paying for his gas because, “Jesus said he’d take care of it.” and drives off. Unruly juveniles run through a store with carved pumpkins on their heads. A man calls police because a woman he was with, but didn’t know, stole his crack. Where else can you find that kind of entertainment?
5. The Other Sister (1999). This “love story for the romantically challenged” is one I have to watch if I catch it on television, whether it just started or is halfway through. I just can’t walk away. I’m not sure exactly what it is about this movie, but it makes me feel good.
6. Family Guy. It may be a cartoon, but it’s not for kids. It’s the kind of show I wouldn’t want my Grandma to know I watch. Irreverent and profane, this show goes where no other would dare. Even Mommy likes daring now and then.
7. Crunch ‘n Munch. Heaven is popcorn, peanuts and a buttery toffee coating. I almost always have a secret stash of this delicous goody somewhere in the house.
8. Acrophobia. If you have a talent for deciphering acronyms, this highly addictive, time-sucking game is for you. It goes a little something like this:
Acrobot says: The acro is: GMBD.
Leslie types: Good Men Buy Diamonds
Leslie loses to Grab My Big Dick
See how fun that is? You can play at Uproar.com.
9. She’s Having A Baby (1988). This just might be my favorite movie. Charming, funny and 98% Kevin Bacon. I especially love the fantasy sequences, like the lawn-mower dance, and the flashback scenes set to music wrench my heart just the right amount. Check out the trailer here.
10. Texas Holdem Yep. I play poker, all the while singing the chorus to “The Gambler.” I may not be the best at bluffing, but people will start folding just to get me to quit singing. I don’t care. I’ll take your chips whether I got them by outsmarting you or annoying you. Winning is winning. Right?
What are your guilty pleasures?