A Letter To The Enemy

by Leslie

Dear Spam Comment People,

I am writing to congratulate you fine folks on a job well done. You found the chink in my spam filtering armor.

Since we met back in August (remember, you offered me some Viagra?), I’ve been shielded by the unpenetrable force of Akismet, who is so diligent in its work that, sometimes, it will hold suspicious comments for my approval, just to be sure.

Having authored some suspicious comments myself, (i.e. Here’s a comment from MOMMY. E-mail: MOMMY@myMOMMYsplace.com, URL: myMOMMYsplace.com), I am certain to check my spam folder to make sure the comments from my repetitive and redudant friends aren’t lost.

It was during my routine spam check that the weakness was exposed with a two word comment: Ass Parade.

I thought, “Wait. Is this spam or is this a real comment on my site?”

The URL you entered didn’t immediately raise any red flags, but I was reluctant to click and investigate because I’m certain you have some tracking software that will tell you that I clicked. Then, you’d really let loose with the spam because, out of the millions of people you target, I’m the idiot that actually clicked. And somewhere you’d have a profile of me that indicates I’m all about asses. And parades.

So, I did the next best thing. I googled “ass parade.”

My google search confirmed that your comment was spam. (The URL you supplied matched up with the URL in the google results.) The “ass” in the parade referred to the “I’m gonna get me some” variety rather than the “I’m such a..” kind I was thinking of.

Alas, I am the chink.

What can I say? Some days I feel like I’m in an ass parade. I thought you were just a really intuitive reader.

Although your spam never made it to my readers, I did waste about six minutes of my time.

Congratulations on your hard and thoughtful work. You came close to success.

And thank you for raising my self awareness.

Sincerely,

Leslie
Proud Member of The (I’m such an) Ass Parade

Posted in Mommy's Stuff |

Comments

10 Cool Kids Came To Play

Daddy Forever on December 20, 2006 2:40 am
Damn spam. I get so many of those. They are getting smarter. Some of the spam really do look like comments, which also requires me to waste more time to investigate. Damn spam.
Quix0r on December 20, 2006 3:03 am
Sometimes they ask in comment for anti-spam solutions because they got spammed. But the provided link leads just to a link farm (tracking URLs, of course). So I killed the comment from spam queue…

Some weeks ago Akismet starts marking such comments as spam… That’s sometimes good, sometimes bad. Bad because of our legitimate comments can become marked as spam as well as these “please approve my comment because I want to promote my sponsored links for feeding my children”-comments… ;(
Tuesday on December 20, 2006 9:37 am
I get a lot of spam too, in the form of comments. Terrible
kelley on December 20, 2006 10:11 am
Maybe I’m just tired, but I haven’t stopped laughing since the first mention of “ass parade.”

I am so going to have to incorporate that one into the household vernacular…
Imperfect Christian on December 20, 2006 10:27 am
You crack me up! I feel like an ass parade sometimes too!
Mommy the Maid on December 20, 2006 10:51 am
Okay, the word ass parade cracks me up. I hate spam and I need to put something on my blog to get rid of some of it.
vasilisa on December 20, 2006 2:38 pm
Some people obviously have no life… What exactly is their point? What are they getting out of it?

Thought the “ass parade” term is kinda funny…
Laurie on December 20, 2006 10:53 pm
You do realize that now when people Google “ass parade”, they will eventually be directed here and will, hopefully, read this great post about the “ass parade” peddlers. That’s what I call a little bit of Christmas karma.
RichM on December 21, 2006 7:48 am
Thanks for sweeping up after the ass parade. Not a job I would want.
petite mommy on December 21, 2006 9:53 am
This is hilarious!