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Go Nigel, Go!
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Would You Like To Buy My Monkeys?
Mar
27
It’s All Coming Back To Me Now
by Leslie
When I think about my pregnancy with Julia, I smile. I think about how my thin limp hair transformed into full, lucious locks of silk; how my brittle fingernails grew strong and thick; the way my tired and overworked body suddenly plugged into this amazing energy source where I could work all day, make love all night and still have time to fold and re-fold a dresser full of baby clothes five or six times. I think of the smiling faces, nodding with approval at the sight of my baby belly and the warm hands that couldn’t resist giving it a pat - a truly liberating experience after years of sucking that gut in to hide the mass. Pregnancy: such a happy, hopeful, I-Am-Woman-Hear-Me-Roar kind of time.
This morning, as I clung to the toilet, I remembered something mid-dry heave: The first trimester. All that happy junk I mentioned? That was the second trimester. I seemed to have forgotten those first three months, but it all came rushing back to me as quickly as my breakfast rushed into the toilet. I thought about the morning I puked in a Wal-Mart bag all the way to work. I remembered how angry I was at Dave during those first three months; how I threw shoes at him, threatened to leave him and actually did once for about an hour. I remember the cold feeling of the bathroom floor as I rocked back and forth on hands and knees and begged God to please, just let me poop and I remember how Dave and I deemed the phrase “ring of fire” as code for “God just answered my prayer.” I’d unlocked the box that was holding all those memories of sleepless nights, feeling bloated and not yet looking pregnant, but just looking fatter, and the crying. Oh, the crying. Lots and lots and lots of crying.
Tonight, as I sit here drinking my one billionth bottle of water, crying over Sanjaya’s faux hawk on American Idol, and worried sick that I wasn’t able to actually eat anything at all today knowing my unborn child is starving, I am trying to remember that the second trimester is coming. Only 55 days away…
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Ooooooh. Aaaaah.
Just remember, its so worth it in the end! And yes, now you can punch me in the head for saying that. I know it doesn’t help any.
However, I do find it extremely funny that you pray about poop. Extremely funny.
i was browsing BE and I bumped into your blog.
i read this entry and i knew what you’re talking about.
it was just early this month that i learned that i am
pregnant. My first and actually unexpected.
The vomiting never ceases, it embarasses me.
I couldn’t focus at work and I will be resigning
because I won’t be able to handle the rigours of
my job.
I didn’t know it is so hard. I’m barely coping
and I have no one to depend to other than my bf whom
i’ll be marrying next month. I haven’t told my folks yet.
After the wedding. They are kinda conservative. Hehehe.
This coming weekend, I will be having my very first
prenatal check-up. *sigh*
As you know, even though you didn’t eat today, the baby got what it needed. You’ll eat tomorrow. Now on to IMPORTANT things. Sanjaya?! What the hell?
I can’t sympathize with you on the first trimester thing. That was always the easiest for me…sorry…once I get to the second and third, I can no longer move. My back totally gives up on me and I am better off just laying in bed…but it is definitely worth it in the end!
Um, yeah, by the way, I am just watching Idol now and Sanjaya just came on…OH MY!!!
Morning sickness never stopped my wife from eating. boy did she eat. One weekend, she bought one of those big cake at Costco and ate the whole thing by herself in a few days. She got so big, a woman thought she was having twins. That lady was lucky my wife didn’t punch her.
O Lord, I’m so glad to be a man.
I never got sick but I never got the perks of pregnancy either. After many pregnancies I think I’m ready to hang up the cleats–here’s hoping you get through this quickly and onto the next trimester.
Yup, those first few months are no picnic… And I was “lucky” enough to be head down the toilet all 9 of them — though first 5 were an absolute nightmare. But, and here is a big but — my kids came out big (both over 8 pounds) and healthy. And I ate practically nothing in the first few months. And definetly nothing healthy throught pregnancy. And couldn’t keep any vitamins. Soooo — don’t worry bout the baby. It will be ok. It needs bare minimum that it can extract from you. And you just focus on pampering yourself and getting as comfortable as possible. Plus there are some safe antinausea drugs out there… (in Canada we have Diclectin — a drug I credit with surviving my pregnancy).