Balance to me is happiness, good health and only 14 loads of laundry left to do. It’s not being stuck in the middle of an argument. It’s sitting on the couch laying on my husband’s shoulder just after the baby has gone to bed. It’s watching Alex struggle to climb onto the couch (something he’s just figured out how to do) and then flop dramatically down as if he’s just climbed Mount Everest.

How do I achieve balance? I mellow out. I realize that the world is not going to end if there are dishes left in the sink overnight. I make my son and my husband my priority, along with my much needed alone time every so often. The rest will come in time, and if not, well, I’ve lived without it this long!

The only thing that prevents me from achieving balance is when Alex is sick. The world just doesn’t seem right to me when my little one has to suffer.

A balanced life looks like a sundress with a small strawberry flavored handprint on it. It looks like a mom in sweats one minute and fully dressed and ready to knock them dead 10 minutes later. It looks like a father and his son asleep on the couch as the cartoons ramble on on Saturday morning.

I think balance in parenthood is very possible. You pick your battles on the discipline front. Be consistent, but not mean. Spend time as a family, AND as a couple. Make sure each parent spends some one on one time with their child during the week. Laugh often, but don’t be afraid to cry when it’s called for. Parenting is rough stuff. It takes a lot of work, but thankfully, it is so very worth it.

In some ways I strongly believe that parents should share equally: in parenting for example. Neither of the parents should have to do all the disciplining, teaching, etc. though one may be around more than the other because of responsibilities outside the home.

However, I don’t believe in an equal distribution of labor in the house. That may sound really whacked and off but it’s because it is absolutely impossible to divide everything that needs to be done to keep a home running perfectly in half so that each spouse shares EXACTLY 50-50. It can’t be done because the tasks are so many and so varied. My husband and I have a “divide and conquer” approach where each handles and manages certain aspects of running our home and managing our resources and the rule is there’s no “keeping track” of how much each other does. As a stay at home mom, for example, my down time is much different than his so to compare straight working hours wouldn’t be productive. We both work hard, but in different ways so to constantly look at who is “doing more” just wastes time and energy. Luckily I’ve married a man who does work hard and takes his roles seriously–it would be a lot harder for me if I had a man around who made more work for me rather than worked hard to provide and make it possible for me to do my job. Likewise, I’m glad he values what I do–if I had a spouse who thought my job, without a paycheck, was dumb work then things would obviously be different around here.

It’s what has worked for us, I know each couple has a different response to this subject. But there’s my two cents, for what it’s worth (probably about two cents!)