In My Life, I Love You More*

by Leslie

Julia is three today.

Last night, as I was settling her into bed I said, “This is the last day you are two. Julia, you will never be two years old again.” She was thrilled by this idea. I was choking up. All I could think about was how Two was supposed to be terrible. Those Terrible Twos. But, I couldn’t think of anything terrible about Julia being two. I loved Julia at two.

This morning, I woke her up with a birthday song accompanied by tickles and kisses, then pulled out a group of pictures only our immediate family has seen to retell the story of the day she was born. Her favorite is of her Daddy holding her for the first time. Every time we look at it I say, “Your Daddy was the first person ever in this world to hold you.” Today, she knew what came next in the story and added that I held her second. “Yes,” I said, “I held you second. And the first thing you did was drink milk!” We looked at pictures and talked about how she had grown and how great being three was going to be. Then, we tucked the pictures away, closed the door on Two and went downstairs to eat some Amish Friendship bread.

She sat next to me at the dining room table, eating her bread, drinking her milk and swinging her dangling legs that don’t quite hit the floor. Not yet. She was talking about her birthday cake and the party we have planned for next weekend. She seemed so big. The past three years felt more like days and at the same time, my life before her felt so far away, like something I’d read in a book or watched on television, rather than a piece of life I’ve lived. It occurred to me that I view my life in relation to her - things either happened before Julia or after Julia. Then, I thought of this quote:

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.
- Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh

Today, I am filled with gratitude for my girl who gave me life just as much as I gave it to her.

*In My Life by The Beatles

Posted in Mommy's Stuff, Julia, Photos |

Comments

9 Cool Kids Came To Play

jenn in holland on June 24, 2007 2:43 pm
Oh, my tears are just rolling over this post. For so many reasons, but mostly for the love that is so evident in your words and your faces.
Beautiful post.
Happy Birthday, big girl!
Mommy the Maid on June 24, 2007 3:18 pm
Happy Birthday Julia!! Such a wonderfully written post.
Daddy Forever on June 24, 2007 5:58 pm
Happy birthday, Julia! That is a great photo of you two. Aren’t we lucky to have kids?
Amy on June 24, 2007 6:59 pm
Leslie, you are such an incredible writer. What a great post. I’m still crying
Karly on June 24, 2007 10:33 pm
I LOVED that quote. And you, my dear, are an excellent writer. That brought tears to my eyes!
petite mommy on June 25, 2007 7:48 am
That is so beautiful. Happy birthday to Julia.
Toni on June 25, 2007 12:14 pm
That is one of my very favorite quotes. Happy Birthday, Julia!
taylorblue on July 4, 2007 8:11 pm
What a great post…you are lucky to have a great little girl. My son was great at 2 too…but now he is 4 and he is terrible two times two!! LOL I hope your little girl had a great day….
Jami on July 23, 2007 11:50 am
Thanks for sharing your love for Julia! And a happy third to Julia!

My two are 11 and 6, and it suddenly struck me the other day that my babies are gone. My daughter (the 6-year-old) was actually carrying on an intelligent conversation with me and while her voice is still little-girly, her brain suddenly isn’t. And I was in awe all over again at how apparently overnight, those little tiny helpless bundles of love have turned into awesome people that love you back. Aren’t we lucky to have kids so we can see the world?