I Think They Call This Stream Of Consciousness Writing

by Leslie

Today is one of those days where I would have been happy to just stay in in bed and read a book from cover to cover. But I am not in bed. I’m hanging around in long, fuzzy pants. You may be asking, “Why Leslie? Is it cold where you are?”

And I would tell you no. It is not cold. It’s more about my mood. I’m in a long, fuzzy pants kind of mood. I only wish I had some big furry sox* to wear, too. I don’t, though. My feet are naked. And cold. I contemplated taking up knitting so I could knit myself some sox*, but then I got tired of that. Knitting probably takes some time to learn. I’m not up for that much learning today.

I have sox*, though. Just in case you’re wondering about that. You shouldn’t feel bad for me. I own sox*. I have them. I just don’t have furry sox*. It isn’t a dire situation.

You know what is a dire situation? The situation in which Julia needs a popsicle. She has been following me around declaring, “Mom! PLEASE HAVE A POPSICLE!”

I cut her off after four. Although she will debate that I only gave her two. They’re those double popsicles with the two sticks. They look like this:

I break them in two and give her one stick at a time. She’s had a total of four sticks. Even though I’ve told her she’s had enough and that she should not ask again, she continues to make demands for them in rapid succession and I don’t know how to make her stop.

Just so you know, banging my head against the table each time she pauses to take a breath does not work.

Speaking of my head, I’m thinking about the hair on it. I think I want to cut it. Short. I’m thinking like a Jane Lynch do. What do you think?

You think that you don’t know who Jane Lynch is. Am I right? You know her. You love her, too. If you don’t know her, you must go and watch A Mighty Wind right this very moment. Whatever you are doing, it cannot be more important than discovering Jane Lynch and the magnificient comedy that is A Mighty Wind. Go wherever you must to retreive the film and view it. Tell me you love it. If you don’t, lie to me. And if you’ve already seen it and you love it, well, then you…you are my favorite.

And now that I’m out of segues, I’ll just ask you: Do you have any idea how much I love Tommy James & The Shondells? I love them. Truly. I’m all about “Crimson and Clover” right now. And if you can slow dance to that song with your special someone without it leading to sex, then you need to rethink your relationship. It’s a sexy song people. Not the Joan Jett version, though. Just the original. By Tommy James & The Shondells. S-E-X-Y. Go put it on and get you some.

Right after you enter The Haiku Buckaroo Contest.

*Edited to add a THANK YOU to Karly for pointing out that the correct spelling is actually SOCKS, not SOX.

This humiliating experience is not unlike the time I included information about the trip to see the “Calves” play basketball in Cleveland on the Greek Council agenda in college. And I did really go to college, by the way. Despite all the evidence to the contrary.

Posted in Mommy's Stuff |

Comments

11 Cool Kids Came To Play

Karly on July 29, 2007 9:51 pm
So many things, I’m not sure where to begin…

You do know sox is actually spelled socks right? Unless you are talking about baseball. Just checking.

And get the sugar free popsicles and then sweet little Julia can eat as many as she wants.

You, my dear, are a mind reader. Just when I was thinking I have no idea who this Jane person is, you said “You think that you don’t know who Jane Lynch is.” Wow. Amazing. You should maybe start a psychic line or something?

I have a confession. I do not like comedies. I know, you hate me. I’m sorry. It was nice being bbf’s with you. I will miss you forever.
Mommy on July 29, 2007 10:03 pm
I should know that it’s spelled socks and not sox. Geez, I feel like a dumbass. I’m going to keep it up as sox, though. Just for you.
Suzanne on July 29, 2007 10:18 pm
I have some fuzzy ones I got in a 2-pack at Costco. Oh my, they are nice. My feet feel fantasic in them. Invest in some immediately. Or else give me your sock size and mailing address and I’ll send ya some.

I like the Joan Jett version, too, though. Although the Joan Jett version isn’t so much sexy as just chick-rocker cool…

…Oh yeah, and summer is for popsicles. Just embrace it. And let her run off the sugar rush in your awesome yard.
Daddy Forever on July 30, 2007 1:05 am
Ah, I thought that’s just how you spell socks in your neck of the woods. Do you have indoor plumbing over there?
jenn in holland on July 30, 2007 5:58 am
Oh, sox, socks! Whatever. The point is you need some fuzzy ones and you need them on your feet. I sure wish I knew how to knit, but alas I do not.
I do however, LOVE Jane Lynch and her hair. And every film she has done with that Christopher Guest led troupe. I get the giggles just thinking about A MIGHTY WIND… EEE AAA OO’s comes to mind as I type. Love that film.
I also entered your Haiku contest. My post today is full of them (and a little full of it) Do with it as pleases you.
I have to go now and get me some.
jenn in holland on July 30, 2007 5:59 am
…popsicles silly.
Sheesh, what were you thinking?
Jen on July 30, 2007 6:46 am
Oh my goodness, Leslie, this started my week off RIGHT! I’m SO in sympathy about your dire situation with Julia. We have dire situations with our 14-year-old boy, but they’re of a different category, like it’s DIRE that he not get to this chore because he’s on p. 247 of his book and he just knows that on p. 257 all will be revealed. ALL. Like life, the universe and EVERYTHING. And p. 257 will disappear if he does the chore NOW. And don’t get me started on getting him to wash his hair. ;-(

And Jane Lynch is funny. And yes, there are easy fuzzy socks to be had, and you should have some.

Happy Monday!
SusieJ on July 30, 2007 10:58 am
I’m actually wearing warm fuzzy socks right now — and long sweat pants. I, like you, would prefer to lounge all day with my book, eat, pray love. Oh yes, but there are those children demanding me in the kitchen.
Karly on August 5, 2007 10:35 pm
Dude. I didn’t see that picture til just now. I so totally thought you knew how to spell sox…I was just effing with you! Ha! You’re funny.
Faith on August 8, 2007 7:13 pm
I know who Jane Lynch and I love Jan Lynch…she just rocks. As do you! Aside from Josh, you are by and far my favorite blogger to read. I can’t believe I neglected your blog for as long as I did.

Hell…I’m still neglecting mine…I think I feel guilty, but that’s for another time.

I love the fuzzy socks, you should buy some to go with your fuzzy pajamas. I may also steal this idea from you for a blog post. Not the socks and fuzzy pants…but the stream of conciousness idea.
My Mommy’s Place: Mommy’s Blog » Blog Archive » It’s Wednesday. That Means It’s Time For A Neurotic Post From Me! Whee! on August 22, 2007 3:49 pm
[…] But, I do know this: you, the people who come here and read what I publish, you all inspire me. Sometimes reading through your comments is all I need to juice up to write a post and for that I am thankful because if I didn’t write stuff, I would have spontaneously combusted by now. Writing stuff feels good. And when writing stuff makes people write stuff back, that feels even better. And while I know I may never pen a novel or be a published author or earn money for what I write, even by doing simple data entry because my typing sucks (remember the great SOX debacle?), I do know that this interaction, this sharing of ideas is really what it’s all about. Even if those ideas are about poop. […]