So, there’s this contest going on over at Weebles Wobblog. A limerick contest. Actually a Limerick Chick Contest. You have until September 5 to enter, so get rhyming! C’mon, it’ll be fun.

Here are my contributions.

Number one:

There’s a guy some people call Grimm
I often have sex with him
But after some lovin’
A bun’s in the oven
And now the pickins are slim

Is that offensive? I can’t help it. Limerick lends itself to the sexual. You should’ve seen my first version.

Number two:

My friend Karly asked, “Why not?
Come write at Wiping Up Snot?
I’m taking a rest
Just do your best
And use all the cuss words you’ve got.”

What can I say? I’m sort of proud of that guest post.

Number three:

There’s a girl I love called Mackey
We’re so alike it’s just wacky
I’d give her my heart
You know, the half necklace part
But when you’re a grown up that’s tacky

Yeah, we’re totally friends like that. I’d even let her have the “Be Fri” part of the necklace and I’d wear the “est ends.” That’s how much I love her.

So, those are my entries. There may be more later. I don’t know. Maybe. Probably. We’ll see.

It’s Official!

by Leslie

Today, the doctor confirmed that I am pregnant. The baby is due around April 25, 2008. My love of even numbers tells me this is a very good thing.

I have my first ultrasound in about three weeks. (Or 19 days to be exact.) I’ll be glad to get to the ultrasound and see that little heart beating. It’s true that I’m a little anxious after my miscarriage earlier this year, but I think that’s natural. My gut tells me everything is okay. I’m gonna roll with that.

Now, names. We’ve picked names. “Already?” you ask. And I will tell you that when you’ve been trying to get pregnant for a while, you find the time to work this stuff out. Like after sex when you’re lying on your back and your husband is holding your legs in the air because you’re willing to do just about anything to help things along. You’ve got at least ten minutes of good talk time there.

Anyway…back to the names. We’ve picked names. Or, I’ve picked names.

If it’s a boy, Dave and I are in complete agreement that we will name him Jackson. Jackson John Grimmett. It’s really fabulous, isn’t it?

If it’s a girl, I believe with my whole heart that I will name her Lucy. Dave is trying with all his might to come up with a name I’ll like better than Lucy. He’s really cute about it all. He comes to me, filled with hope, certain there’s a winner in the list he’s compiled. One by one, I shoot them down with a sigh or an eyeroll until finally he throws up his hands and says, “So what? It’s gonna be a boy anyway!”

Julia also believes the baby will be a boy. She loves to touch my tummy, look into my belly button, put an ear against my skin and say, “Mom, he’s laughing! The baby is laughing! I hear him!”

As for me, I don’t have a feeling about whether it will be a boy or a girl. Right now, I’m just looking forward to that ultrasound and hoping for a heartbeat.

Today, I had my hair cut and eyebrows waxed. At Wal-Mart.

It turned out like this:

The Haircut

Then, I went to the Health and Beauty department and purchased a product that would enable me to mess my hair up. On purpose. Because it is my strong feeling that a hair style that makes me look like I belong in pajamas is the right one for me.

*Edited to add this picture, by request:

The haircut - a look at the back

Because I like to give you what you want.

Today, I came around the corner of our house to see this:

Working On The House

“Julia! What are you doing?”

“I”m workin’ on my house!”

She does pretend roofs, fake siding and imaginary windows.

At one point while she was “working” I heard her say, “You dang gum varmit!”

That’s my daughter, the aspiring construction worker.

The Fallout

by Leslie

Around the time I had my positive pregnancy test, Julia began to complain about the pain in her tummy. You know, because there’s a baby in there. It lasted all of Friday night and through Saturday. On Sunday evening, she emerged from the family room with a doll wrapped in the arm cover from the couch. She proceeded gingerly and with great pride and sincerity announced, “My baby is born.”

Upon further questioning it was revealed that the baby had grown out of her belly, so there was no baby in her belly anymore. She hugged her baby and nursed her baby, complete with sucking sounds. Her baby took naps on the kitchen floor with an open book for a blanket. Her baby got a boo boo and required a band aid. Her baby ate cantaloupe.

I felt pretty confident that Julia was excited that we’re going to have a baby.

Dave, who is also excited, expresses his emotions in a different way. He has decided that it is his duty to ensure that I am not hurt or upset in any possible way. In between his regular check ups, “Are you okay? Do you feel alright? You look like something might be wrong? Are you sad?” he is working hard to make sure I don’t have to. Yesterday, when I began to gather up dirty clothes to toss down the laundry chute, he nearly fell over himself rushing to my aid, “Hey! I’ll do that! I’ll do that! You don’t have to do that! I’ll do it!”

Later, when I announced that we should probably get started on some lawn mowing, he jumped to his feet and enlisted the help of my parents so all of the mowing machines we owned were in use by the time I got outside and I could do nothing but sit on the front porch reading Life Among The Savages while Julia was in labor nearby.

Normally, I’d feel a little offended by the implication that I’m no longer able to do anything now that I’m pregnant, but this weekend, I took advantage. To be honest, I needed the extra rest having given up all forms of caffeine cold turkey. I’ve even replaced my flavored water beverages with a bag of lemons I can slice and toss in my natural, chemical-fee water.

Today, as we get back into our normal routine where my lack of caffeine headache is gone, Julia’s baby is tossed legs up in the toy box, Dave is at work and I am left to throw the dirty laundry down the chute myself, and when the new Garden Tractor arrives I will be the first to take a spin, everything is still, somehow, different. There’s a new baby on the way. I couldn’t be happier.

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