Is Nothing Sacred?

by Leslie

I’ve been making buckeyes today.

After I’d been at it a while, Julia had grown tired of helping me and asked if she could watch a show on television. I agreed that she could. We chose a show that was about to begin on PBS. I flipped it on and returned to the kitchen.

A few moments later, Julia shouted, “Mom, come and look! It’s A-peche Mode on Barney!”

Barney?! What? No!!! We don’t do Barney in this house! And Depeche Mode? What?!?

I dropped what I was doing and flew into the living room. Curious George was on the screen. “What are you talking about?”

“A-peche Mode was on Barney.”

I grabbed the remote and hit rewind to back up the DVR. I saw a purple flash. I stopped. I hit play. There it was: Barney and how you can see him everyday at 10:30 a.m. Then there was music. Julia jumped, giggled and began to shake her hips. “Hear it, Mom? I Just Can’t Get Enough!”

She was right. Barney and his Prozac popping friends were singing “I Just Can’t Get Enough” by Depeche Mode. And they were dancing. Then, that purple abomination danced right through the screen, reached into my chest, ripped my heart out and ate it. Because you know how I feel about that song. (Unless you started coming here sometime after September 2006 (which is pretty much everybody) then you don’t know. And you should probably click that “you know” link up there so you can know.)

I hit record on the DVR. My first thought was that I’d upload it to YouTube so you all could share in the horror. But then I decided it would be wrong to perpetuate the bastardization of good music. I cannot allow my blog to be a platform for evil.

Still, I felt the need to share my experience with you. Because you might understand.

Or you might be a Barney-lover who will try and convince me that the use of that song is somehow evidence of how cool he is. And if you’re one of those people, I’m giving you the finger, and while I still love you, I think you’re dumb.

Regardless of your reaction, you must know I will never, never be the same. Bye, bye Miss American pie.

Posted in Mommy's Stuff |

Comments

12 Cool Kids Came To Play

susiej on November 8, 2007 8:23 pm
Wow. That would have thrown me for a loop. Buckeye season — ahhhh yes, it is!!
kerri on November 8, 2007 8:45 pm
OMG! I am a huge Depeche Mode fan and I too am outraged! It’s like when Disney made the little mermaid NOT die at the end of the story. I loved that story when I was a little girl until Disney ruined it! My husband was just saying at dinner tonight that one day he will be in an elevator and they will be playing a muzak version of a Nirvana song and then he will have to kill himself. You are right it seems nothing is sacred.
Jerseygirl89 on November 8, 2007 10:04 pm
I can’t decide whether to tape it or vomit. I mean, Depeche Mode? Are the Dead Kennedys appearing on Sesame Street soon?

BTW, I have an award for you!
Veronica on November 9, 2007 3:53 am
Depeche Mode and Barney????

Oh and I think Barney is evil personified and should not be watched by anyone. Ever. Regardless of what song he had on his show.
Pam on November 9, 2007 6:20 am
Barney was a frequent visitor in our house with both medium and small boy. Then one day, medium boy came home and shared the “I hate you, you hate me let’s hang Barney from a tree” song and life? well, it was good again.
Thankfully small boy was born being cool and never got into Barney. Just that damn big comfy couch show.
Pam on November 9, 2007 6:21 am
And….mmmmmmmm, buckeyes. No greater use of confect. sugar and chocolate has ever been created.
Jen in MI on November 9, 2007 12:43 pm
That is way too scary for words. And yum….. buckeyes…..
jenn in holland on November 10, 2007 2:33 pm
Barney is cool and hip and totally with it to be sharing such great music on his show!
Oh, and I JUST THREW UP A LITTLE IN MY MOUTH while I typed that.
Eeeeeeeeeeeew! Guh-rrrrroooooossss!
I am horrified for you and for me and for all little happy dancing children everywhere.
But can I just say how completely awesome you are that your Julia KNOWS a-peche mode? You fuckin’ rock Buck.
I love you and your buckeye making self.
Sam on November 10, 2007 3:53 pm
I love Depeche Mode!! I still want to see Barney singing that song though. I can’t even imagine it. It’s something that I have to see to really understand. Otherwise they’re just Blasphmous Rumors. HaHa!
Daddy Forever on November 11, 2007 7:58 pm
Why can’t you just give up and dance to the Barney version too? With another kid on the way, I think you will be seeing Barney again for the next few years.
Dvotee on November 13, 2007 7:26 pm
OMG…… My first daughter used to love that ‘purple people eater’ and I used to cringe when she’d say ‘Can I put my Barney DVD on’ AAARRGHHHHHH

Now I read this and I am gonna go kill myself. OK, I won’t but that is just not right….So was he and all the little one’s dancing along to it…..actually I don’t think I wanna.

(Thankfully, my other 2 don’t like Barney so we are ok)
Elizabeth on August 22, 2008 2:57 am
Ok. OH MY GOD!! I saw this today on a commercial and felt exactly the same way. I came hunting it down on the web so I too could share the horror with my friends (most whom do not have children and the ones that do would probably keel over and die in disgust)and I ran across your blog. I read it out loud to a crowed room of friends and we were all doubled over in laughter. This is the most fanatic blog I have read in a minute!

Thanks for reassuring me that I was not behaving like an elitist bitch about this.

I HEART DM!!!