I’ve been cleaning up my files this weekend in an effort to get ready for a brand new year. And while I’m not really a write-a-rough-draft-then-edit-it-to-make-it-better kind of girl when it comes to blogging – you know, I just write it as it comes – I do have a folder with snippets of ideas to think about later.

I’ve never actually used an idea from that folder. Until now.

I found this little bit I’d written last year right after Christmas:

Dave claims that I attempt to engage him in conversations for the sole purpose of getting him in trouble. He has labeled this so-called tactic “The Set-Up.” Here’s an example of what he’s talking about.

Leslie: “Am I a good wife?”

Dave: “Yeah, honey. You’re a great wife.”

L: “Well, how would you rate me? You know, if you were giving me a performance review.”

D: “Nah. No. I’m not doing this.”

L: “Doing what?”

D: “You’re setting me up.”

L: “What do you mean? I just asked a question.”

D: “Yeah, and when I answer it, you’ll get mad. I’m not doing this. Especially this close to Christmas.”

L: “I guess you’d give me a pretty bad rating since you don’t want to tell me.”

D: “Leslie, I am not doing this.”

L: Fair enough.

The conversation you just read occurred just before Christmas. It’s amazing what is revealed after Christmas is over and the pressure to be “nice” is off. This conversation happened just last night.

Leslie: “So, that comment you made about stripper money on Laurie’s blog the other day…seemed like you really knew what you were talking about.”

Dave: “Yeah! I meant to tip this girl two dollars, but the bills in my wallet were all mixed up and I gave her a twenty and a one instead of two ones.”

L: “WHAT?!?!”

D: “Oh, this was, like, seven or eight years ago.”

L: “You go to strip clubs?!?!”

D: “Only two times in my whole life.”

L: “You go to strip clubs!!?!?!”

D: “Honey, I haven’t gone to one since I met you and I will never go to one again. I have no desire to go now that I have you.”

L: “That’s good.”

D: “….”

L: “I mean, if you want to go to strip clubs, that’s fine. You can go. You just don’t need to come home afterwards.

D: “I’m not going to go to one.”

L: “And you should remember that every one of those girls has a father, just like your daughter.”

D: “Alright.”

(long pause)

L: “So, she must have been pretty good.”

D: “What?”

L: “She must have been a pretty good stripper for you to want to give her a tip.”

D: “No way. Nuh-uh. I know what you’re doing.”

L: “What? I’m just trying to figure out what makes a stripper tip-worthy. I mean, what did she do to earn that tip?”

D: “You’re setting me up.”

L: “I’d just like to know.”

D: “…”

All that got me thinking, so I decided to perform a little test.

Leslie: “Dave, am I a good wife?”

Dave: “You’re better than good. You’re the best.”

L: “Well, how would you rate me? You know, if you were giving me a performance review.”

D: “There isn’t a rating meaningful enough to measure how wonderful you are.”

Yeah, he’s come a long way, baby.