-
Go Nigel, Go!
-
Would You Like To Buy My Monkeys?
Jan
27
I had a conversation recently that went something like this.
Leslie: “I wish I had talent like that. I’m not creative at all.”
Leslie’s Fabulous Friend: “Are you kidding? Leslie, you’re very creative. Just look at your blog from the past week. Look at all the stuff you’ve made and written.”
Leslie: “Yeah, but I’m not good at any of it.”
Leslie’s Fabulous Friend: “Honey, that doesn’t make you any less creative.”
Her statement really got me thinking.
Since I was a kid, I’ve always put pressure on myself to do things well. Okay, that’s an understatement. I’ve always put pressure on myself to do things perfectly. I’ve had an attitude of, “Nothing is worth doing if you can’t do it right.” Or, more accurately, “Nothing is worth doing if you can’t be the best at it.”
So, I’ve spent a lot of time feeling disappointed in myself. I’ve lost the enjoyment of so many experiences, because I couldn’t just feel good about being there and doing it. All I focused on was the end result. Was I the best? Did I win?
No one is perfect. No one can be the best at everything. These things I know, but it hasn’t stopped me from trying, which I think makes me a little looney.
In some situations, my accept-nothing-less-than-the-best attitude has served me well. It helped me perform well academically. It made me successful at work. But as a mom or a wife? That attitude doesn’t fit and I’ve been struggling to change it.
I wish I could understand why, when I look at myself, I’m so disappointed in my imperfections, but when I look at my family and other people I love, it’s the things that make them different and unique that I love the best.
I look at that sock monkey I made and torture myself over how the left ear is a bit lower than the right, but those cock-eyed ears are one of the things I love most about my cat.
Even after making and selling buckeyes for the past four years, I still worry that they aren’t good enough every time I get an order.
(Oh, and while we’re talking about buckeyes, I got a request to add some white chocolate accents to some of my Valentine treats. Looky-loo!)
I had sold some buckeyes to the staff in my doctor’s office around Christmas a couple years ago. The doctor asked me how I could afford to sell my buckeyes so cheap. I told her that I bought the materials in bulk and that helped with the cost. Then she asked, “But how much do you pay yourself for your labor?” I realized then that I didn’t. When I took how much profit I made and divided it by the hours I put in, I found I was paying myself less than a dollar an hour. Even then, I didn’t raise my prices; I was convinced that people would stop buying them. It wasn’t until my regular customers suggested that I charge more that I actually did.
I’ve realized that sometimes, I don’t treat myself very well. I say mean things to me - things I wouldn’t allow someone else to say to me. Why? Why am I willing to accept in others things I won’t accept in myself?
Does anyone else have this problem?
Comments
14 Cool Kids Came To Play
-
I Write A Haiku Each Day
-
Categories
- Daily Haiku
- Mommy’s Stuff
-
You Should Do This
-
Ooooooh. Aaaaah.
I swear Leslie….we must have been separated at birth.
There are things that I think I am kind of good at my not great at any of them.
Take my photography as example.I love to take pics…I love to learn about photography BUT whenever anyone asks me if I do pics of them I gasp. Wha? Me? No no no…I am not THAT good.
Once or twice I have been talked into it but I , the same as you, do not take any money for the work done. I feel that it isn’t worth it.
We really are our own worst enemies aren’t we?
Firstly I LOVE your writing and I LOVE your sock monkeys.
I know how you feel, I used to be such a perfectionist in EVERYTHING, in the end, I had to take a step back and tell myself that I was too close to what I was doing to have any objectivity. I think I am better now, because I care a little less.
(plus? losing the perfectionism sped up my work rate when I was working, and I didn’t even get any complaints about things *I* thought were’t quite right)
I’m not a perfectionist, but sometimes I wish I was. I tend to rush through things in the hopes of just getting it done as quickly as possible so I can move on to the next. Yes, I try to do a good job, but I don’t freak out if it isn’t perfect. That trait is one of the things that drives me NUTS but it is so hard to change.
I meant NOT being a perfectionist drives me nuts. Because I don’t do things as well as I could. I didn’t mean that YOU being a perfectionist drives me nuts? Mkay?
Leslie, I think a lot of folks share this with you. I used to be a perfectionist, but I’ve learned to let go over the years, and it’s been a real struggle, but worth it. You are VERY talented, and you deserve to reward yourself well for your time and your creativity. Stand strong, Girl!
I’m not a perfectionist by any stretch (teaching got rid of that streak for me), but I do say things to myself that I wouldn’t say to anyone else. Or allow anyone else to say to me. The only thing that helps me is when I remember to ask myself, as I begin an inner monologue of self-recrimination, “Would I say this to one of my friends?”
Unfortunately, I don’t remember to do that very often.
Leslie,
Its kind of like your writing for me. I’m such a perfectionist and since I can’t be perfect, I’m constantly disappointed. I totally understand that drive though. My mother passed on this wonderful quality and now I just endevour not to pass it on to my children. I guess that means I had better work on it since kids learn what they see…
By the way-your sock monkeys are awsome and your blog is so entertaining, a little highlight of my day
.
Kristian
[…] Leslie is a master of savoring snippets of her day, to share them on her blog with witty writing, showing you how deep and caring is her heart. Definitely — this one goes to her. […]
Most of usl want to do better and are rarely satisfy with ourselves. But I have to agree with your Fabulous Friend, you are creative. Stop doubting yourself.
Leslie — you must take great photographs — because your projects look very skillful to me… So, you can add photography to your list of talents, and writing… and being a good friend and Mom.
Award for you at my place.
Suffice to say that I feel compelled to shut down my blog because I wasn’t nominated for a Bloggie award. Yeah, me and Dooce and Perez Hilton all in the same category !! But still, it made me feel very inadequate when what is really important is that *I* love to blog and my readers (all few of them) love me too!!
We’re taught humility at a very young age and at a very high price. Be kind to “others”. Hmmmmm
We are tough on ourselves. We shouldn’t be. When you figure out how to stop, please write the book. I will totally buy it.
I tend to rush through things quickly…heard this somewhere….”seize the day”. We shld enjoy the process each day of our life.
It is the curse of the perfectionist Darlin’. You try so hard to make everything perfect, to be loved by all, you take criticism to heart with no thought at all of its source. And you fail to give yourself credit. ‘Fess up, if anyone else was being criticized the way you do yourself, then you would be the first one at their defense and give the critic a good long tongue lashing. It’s taken 40+ years, but I have finally started to give myself a break. Sometimes. Although right now I am berating myself for not getting around to reading this post sooner…