I was having a lovely lunch at a restaurant with my family recently. An elderly couple was seated next to us. When we were finished with our meal, I scooched my butt to the end of the booth seat, maneuvered my baby belly to avoid the table and got myself up, in that characteristic pregnant lady way. The elderly woman watched me. More specifically, she was watching my belly. Once I was up and on my feet, she broke the hard belly stare with a roll of her eyes and a shake of her head, and then said to her husband, “You know, Albert is finally losing some weight.”

So, how would you have responded to that?

Wanna guess how I did? Okay.

Did I:

  1. Ignore her. There’s no way her behavior was any kind of response to me.
  2. Give her a mean look.
  3. Say, “Excuse me, I’m not so much fat as I am pregnant.”
  4. Cold cock her honky ass, Mary Katherine Gallagher style.
  5. Smile politely on my way to cry in the bathroom.