Ew! Ew! Icky-Poo! Yuck!

by Leslie

At this point in my life, I have few illusions about my appearance. I look how I look and I’m pretty much okay with it, save for one particular feature: skin tags.

I have skin tags. On my neck. And I dislike them very, very much.

The first one popped up when I went to college - I gained the freshman fifteen and some extra skin. Another appeared after I got married. When I got pregnant with Julia, all hell broke loose. And now?

It looks like I have about fifteen tiny brains growing out of my neck. If only they served to make me smarter.

I visited the doctor prior to getting pregnant with Lucy about having them removed. She took a look and said, in layman’s terms, “Dude, those are so freakishly big and plentiful that you need to see a specialist.”

So I did.

The specialist told me, in layman’s terms, “I really don’t want to remove these from you because, first of all, you’re kind of fat and as long as you’re fat, you’re probably going to have these skin tags. Secondly, I think you just want them removed for vanity’s sake, not due to pain and discomfort, and your insurance won’t pay for that. So, go home Fatty McWartyWart and thank the good Lord there isn’t hair growing out of them, because that would probably mean you’re a witch.”

So I went home. And I cried, because that’s what I do sometimes, and I contemplated buying an assortment of scarves to cover up my malformations. I could pull off a Bohemian kind of fashion vibe, right? Sadly, no. Not really. Instead, I’ve just been living with them. And despising them.

Last night, Julia was hanging from my neck (because she’s not really happy right now unless she’s physically attached to me in some way) and she ripped one off. RIPPED. With blood. And pain. More pain than I expected, yet less than being called “fat” or “vain” or “a witch” or even being stared at like I’m The Elephant Man. Now, if I can only get her to do that fifteen more times…

Posted in Mommy's Stuff, Photos |

Comments

15 Cool Kids Came To Play

Mackey on March 23, 2008 5:51 pm
Ouch…that must have hurt:(

Maybe you are just getting more becasue you are pregnant. Those hormones can do weird things. Once you have them can they go away on their own?

My hubby gets them sometimes under his arms….he clips them offf with nail clippers.
(Yes he is insane)
Jen in MI on March 23, 2008 6:02 pm
I have some, too, and I had them when I was thin, as well. I have never heard the connection between weight gain and skin tags. Keep watching them, though, because if they change, then you want them checked for skin cancer.

I’m sorry Julia ripped one - that must have REALLY hurt!
Toni on March 23, 2008 6:10 pm
Ouch! I totally understand the pain on that one. I used to have one under my arm. I say used to because one day after many months of carefully avoiding it with my razor, I got distracted and … well, you know.
pam on March 23, 2008 6:17 pm
Fatty MoWartyWart here too!! I’ve heard of an old wives tale that if you rub olive oil on them and cover them with a band-aid, they’ll eventually fall off. I’m too lazy to try it but it’d surely be a lot less painful than having offspring yank them off. And would produce less blood.
I have them under my arms too…. so sexy when I’m trying to look hot in my granny bathing dress.
Daddy Forever on March 23, 2008 10:36 pm
My wife gets those when she was pregnant but the eventually went away. I don’t think they have anything to do with weight.
Sam on March 23, 2008 10:55 pm
Now you can go back to the doctor and say, “see, they’re painful and uncomfortable!”
M on March 24, 2008 7:50 am
I have them too. It seems like they go wherever something “rubs” you…..a necklace, a bra, UGH! I go and get them removed by my doc. I don’t care if I have to pay. I’m so vain, I probably thought that song was about me! HAHAHA. Sorry you got hurt!!
Karly on March 24, 2008 8:08 am
I really tried not to laugh, because that had to hurt both when the doctor was a jerk and when Julia ripped your skin from your body, but I just couldn’t help it. You are hilarious. “First of all, you’re kind of fat…” That killed me. Surely the doctor didn’t put it THAT way? LOL. I love you.
Jerseygirl89 on March 24, 2008 8:46 am
That doctor was a total jerk. I have one on my neck that I’ve though about ripping off like a thousand times. But now I am scared.

I am sorry those doctors made you cry and that you were in such pain.

But damn, that was a really funny post.
kristian on March 24, 2008 9:07 pm
I could send my husband over to get rid of them. He (Mr. Imsofit) grabbed some scissors and cut three off of himself. Yep, scissors, which he did NOT steralize. Disgusting, I know. As for calling yourself fat-STOP THAT NOW! Your pregnant, NOT fat. Don’t be so hard on yourself.
Scout's Honor on March 26, 2008 2:34 pm
My older sister after four pregnancies who admittedly was heavier than she liked had the same experience. The doctor said insurance wouldn’t cover it and she was fat.

Then they kept growing and growing. Honestly, those couple bigs ones on your neck? She had at least thirty that size all around her neck and chest like a necklace.

So, being madly ocd, she got her sharpest steak knife, some rubbing alcohol, and cut, and cut, and cut some more. She said there was blood streaming down her chest. Her husband found out and made her go back to the dermalotogist. This time, he agreed to take off all the remaining tags as being potentially harmful(crazy woman will risk infection and at home sugeries–she means business). He had to send off every one to be biopsied and took off a ton of moles too just to get it covered.

So, I don’t suggest this. The interesting thing was that until she pointed them out to me, I honestly had never noticed them. We as woman always focus so hard on our own flaws and think everyone sees them. Nope, we’re doing the same–looking at our flaws. Yep, I’m looking at this weird wart/corn/bunion thing on my toe right now…Where the hell did that come from?

I would go in to the doctor and say the kids are picking on them. That’s got to make it medically justified. My husband had a growth removed on his head because it was likely to catch while grooming then cause infection or more health care dollars to fix. Maybe start wearing some Mr. T necklaces and saying they hurt?

Good luck. Your beautiful no matter what.
Scout's Honor on March 26, 2008 2:41 pm
gah! I meant You’re. Sigh. Someday, I will write gooder.
Chris H on March 26, 2008 6:02 pm
I had them too, under my arm, boobs and inner thigh of all places. I don’t think it has anything to do with being fat, your doctor is a shit. I think they are hereditory. Go to another doctor, ask him or her to cut them off with a scalpel (sp?) and put a plaster on! It’a as simple as that to remove them! And you really don’t even need anesthetic either!
K on March 27, 2008 10:59 am
Wow, meanie of dermatologist you have there. Mine gets a gleam in his eyes ($$$) everytime I come in. He tilts his head to the side, clicks his tongue, and says “Yep that definately needs to come off.” I’ve got a bunch of skin cancer risk factors, so I see the derm all the time.
jenn in holland on April 2, 2008 1:01 pm
Me, I just want to kick that doctor’s ass.
And then I want to pull off a skin tag. I like doing stuff like that. Weird, I know.