How Do I Know When It’s Love?*

by Leslie

Fifteen years ago, if you would have asked me how I would know if I were really in love, I would have spewed a bunch of crap that included phrases like “soul mates,” “feeling complete,” “grand gestures,” and “it’s just a feeling.” I may have talked about “growing old together,” without even really understanding what it means to get older. I definitely would have said something about “romance.” Because I was kind of dumb.

Today, having reached the point in my pregnancy where I am so big that I can’t reach my own ass to wash it, I have a better idea of what love is.

I now know the approach I’m going to take with Julia as she gets older, wants to date and dreams of falling in love. I’m not going to blow smoke about that magical moment when her father and I met and I just knew we were meant to be. I’m not going to sum our relationship up with tales of our first kiss, how he rescued me from loneliness and filled my heart with joy. When she wants to know about love and how I knew I’d found it, I’m going to tell her about how he cut my toe nails when I couldn’t reach them, how he cleaned up puke when I had morning sickness, and how he wiped my nasty ass and answered the gnawing question, “Is that a zit back there or what?” and still had it in him to want to make love to me that night. Because THAT? That’s love.

*Lyric from When It’s Love by Van Halen.

Posted in Mommy's Stuff, David |

Comments

11 Cool Kids Came To Play

Jen in MI on April 2, 2008 9:25 pm
My sister and I had a talk once about how you know it’s really love, and she said, “Would you feel comfortable peeing in front of him? If not, forget about it - it’s a crush.”

That was said by a 20-year-old. And yes, that’s where love truly is - as you said it.
Karly on April 2, 2008 10:12 pm
Dave wiped your butt? Seriously? Was that horrible? Because Cleatus doesn’t even know that I poop (don’t tell!) and I can not imagine this. I would probably die. Did you die? I would die.
Scout's Honor on April 2, 2008 10:20 pm
Yep, the same realization occured to me, but the roles were reversed. There I was helping my husband wipe, applying alternating heat and cold every 2 hours for weeks straight with a newborn and toddler, after a botched vasectomy. It never occured to me not to do it. He needed me and I loved him. I was used to being the one taken care of and was happy for once to do the caring. I’m sure your husband feel the same.

Now about peeing in front of him, no problem. But I always kick him out to poop or wipe. Just feels a a bit weird. You got to keep some things mysterious.

I’m sure sooner than we think we’ll be holding hands in our Depends. You know, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

True love is compassion and holding hands, not necessarily sex and romance.
kristian on April 2, 2008 11:18 pm
So well put. But um, the burning question mus tbe answered-you know-was it a zit?
Much More Than A Mom on April 3, 2008 12:18 am
Hahaha! Yes, was it a zit? I love pregnancy. It’s so glam.
Daddy Forever on April 3, 2008 1:34 am
Well, Dave is better man than I am. I would tell my wife to wait until I’m done going through my blog reader.
Veronica on April 3, 2008 7:55 am
Yep, thats love.
Jerseygirl89 on April 3, 2008 1:30 pm
You and Dave are both so lucky to have found each other.

And what a great description of true love.
Laurie on April 4, 2008 1:46 pm
Aw, that made me cry a little.
Anne on April 6, 2008 11:36 am
That was sweet….makes me tear.
heathersway on April 8, 2008 1:25 pm
Amen sister! The husband and I had been married for seven years before we had our first kid and pregnancy was getting to know each other all over again. And when he got his vasectomy and I put on a sexy nightie and danced for him that first night while he was in agony, that was just me getting to know him a little better too.

Just kidding. I wouldn’t really so that