-
Go Nigel, Go!
-
Would You Like To Buy My Monkeys?
May
7
A Weighty Issue
by Leslie
My maternity clothes have been packed away; I am back in my pre-pregnancy clothes.
**insert Happy Dance here**
As of last Friday, I’d lost 23 pounds. I’m back at my pre-pregnancy weight, which would be impresssive if I hadn’t already been 100 pounds overweight when I got pregnant.
My very rude and very elderly neighbor (I’m talking about the one who a) calls the “person who answers my phone” [meaning MY voice on my outgoing answering machine message] a bitch, b) told me that it looks as if Lucy was really meant to be a boy, but I’ve got to “have faith that God knew what he was doing when he made her a girl,” and c) stopped by shortly after Lucy was born to ask, “Is she a retard or anything?”) told me that now I can start losing weight.
I just looked at her and smiled politely, because if I don’t argue with her, she just might leave a little sooner. In my head, I was laughing because weight loss is the last thing on my mind. Okay, well not the last thing. Obviously it’s on my mind if I’m writing about it. But, losing weight? It seems ridiculous to worry about when getting the time for a shower is a luxury. I don’t even think about meals until I’m so hungry I could eat garbage. And the idea of exercise just makes me want to crawl in bed and take a nap.
There are only two reasons I am losing weight at this point: Lucy is sucking uber-calories out of me with the constant breastfeeding and Julia found my chocolate stash.
Comments
10 Cool Kids Came To Play
-
I Write A Haiku Each Day
-
Categories
- Daily Haiku
- Mommy’s Stuff
-
You Should Do This
-
Ooooooh. Aaaaah.
OMG! She actually said those things to you???!!!
Why the heck do you even open your door to her?
I am in shock that a person would actually say things like that!
Pardon my French, but what a BITCH!
Anyhoo, congrats on the weight loss. It doesn’t matter why or how. Tell Lucy to keep sucking but Julia really should share your chocolate stash with you:)
Um, I HATE your neighbor. Why do you even speak to her? I think I would have told her to get out of my house and STAY OUT. And then I would have wagged my finger in her face or done that little z-snap thing. Yeah. I totally would have done that.
OMG! For real? Like to your face she said those things??? Do you duck back in the house when you see her outside? Thank god the only neighbors who call us are ones we like! The rest of the “neighborhood” (do the surrounding 10 acre lots constitute a neighborhood?) pretty much keeps to themselves thak goodness!
What a completely scary neighbor. The next time she comes over, tell her the bitch who answers your phone is mad at her and might attack her if she returns. So that she might not want to return unless she’s a retard or something. Sheesh.
Honestly Leslie, how do you stop from telling her to shove it up her wrinkled old smelly ass? There’s no excuse for those kinds of comments. She’s evil. Thankfully, you have your whole life to worry (if you choose to do so) about weight. Unfortunately for your neighbor, she can’t get back those evil words that came from her mouth and all I can say is, karma is a bitch.
That’s great you lost all the weight so fast (even with the kids help). I don’t suppose you can sell your neighbor on ebay. She’s rude and evil.
What a complete bitch. Some people deserve to have their lips stapled shut. Doesn’t she have anyone else to harass? Your WAY too tolerant Leslie! Back to weight…your completely right, your focus should be on your family and your self esteem, and not on what society tells you that you should look like.
Seriously? That’s freaking ludicrous. I can’t believe someone would EVER say that to another human being.
But…YAY on the pre-mat clothing!!
Next time she comes over tell her little Lucy cries when she wears anything pink and you can’t figure out why.
(Your neighbor, however, is probably too dimwitted to get it…)
[…] My neighbor (you know the one) came to my house today. She rang my doorbell once. And before I could get to the door, she was already inside. She just walked right in and was wandering around my kitchen. WALKED RIGHT IN! WANDERING! IN MY KITCHEN! […]