-
Go Nigel, Go!
-
Would You Like To Buy My Monkeys?
Jun
10
Some Letters To Explain Why You Won’t Find Us At The Mall Again This Summer, Even If Zombies Attack
by Leslie
Dear Moms And Kids At The Mall Play Area,
I’m sorry my daughter was such a jerk. She really knows better. I think she took some LSD today or something.
My Deepest Apologies,
The Bad Kid’s Mom
Dear Likely Child Abuser At The Mall Play Area,
Thank you for bringing my daughter’s bad behavior to my attention. I only wish you would have talked to me rather than go all Full Metal Jacket and scream in her face. This was not a fun way to learn that she had done something wrong.
I appreciate your deep concern for my child’s discipline, but you should know that she already has two parents. The job is filled whether you like the way we do it or not.
My condolences to your children.
Sincerely,
The Bad Mom
Dear Snatchy Old Ladies,
I am sorry that my daughter’s temper tantrum disturbed your post-mall-walk treat at Auntie Anne’s today. It was quite a fit - her worst ever - so, I don’t blame you for staring as I dragged her by. Her screaming was probably the reason your hearing aid was squealing! But was the tsk tsking really necessary? Were you trying to make the situation more tense, upsetting and uncomfortable? Because you did.
I understand that you disapproved of what was happening. Hell, I disapproved of what was happening. But expressing your disapproval did nothing to help and everything to make matters worse. If you really wanted to get involved, you could have offered to babysit.
Sincerely,
The Mom Who Couldn’t “Get Her Kid Under Control”
Dear Julia,
If you ever again act like you did today, I will end you.
Love,
Mommy
Comments
11 Cool Kids Came To Play
-
I Write A Haiku Each Day
-
Hurts So Good
-
Categories
- Daily Haiku
- Mommy’s Stuff
-
You Should Do This
-
Ooooooh. Aaaaah.
Ahh yes, been there done that, endured hundreds of scathing looks from know-it-all people who obviously do not have a child or children! Try taking 4 littlies under 5 to the mall and have untold people ask you “Are they all yours?” followed by “Don’t you use contraception then, are you a Catholic then?”… so I love it now when I tell people I have 8 kids! Bliss…. pay back cos now I don’t give a s*#t what people think… AND it’s even better now cos I can even say I have no idea who Griffin’s father is!!! Yet I’m his Mum and Stew is his DAD… ha ha ha. Just ignore the know it alls, the look down their noses people and just smile! You have a perfectly normal wee girl…. who is acting just like a normal wee girl should. It may not be nice, hard on the ears and all that, but she will outgrow it, they all do!
Sounds like a bad bad day. One of those ones that you never want to have repeated.
Uh oh…..it was a day.
Would you like to come over for a tea & some muffins. I won’t care if Julia pitches a fit. Her & Kennedy can have one together:)
The last letter? Cracked me up. CRACKED. ME. UP. I’m sorry Julia was a little shit today.
Oh man, sounds like a tough day. I think my 2 year old isn’t quite ready for the mall play area, but I do wonder about some of the parents there.
Sounds like a ROUGH day. Huge hugs.
This post finds me laughing and tearing up at the same time. Darn it, why is parenting so difficult sometimes? And does it not ever occur to those snarky bystanders that the perfectly behaved children they love so much to compare ours to are not real. They’re a myth - like Santa or the Easter Bunny.
Oh, I hate those days. I’m sorry.
That parent had no business screaming in Julia’s face. What is wrong with that person?
Our 3 yr. old laid down face down in the store yesterday because the checkout lady bagged up his bubblegum. Boy, was that fun! Hope she does better next time but it happens.
So sorry to laugh at your pain, but babe, I am. Laughing that is.
And commiserating. And sympathizing. And remembering.
Hiding out at home is my motto. It’s cozy here.