Lucy spent most of last night nursing on my right breast, so I woke up this morning with one regular boob and one GIANT boob. It was rather unsettling.

The rest of my day was equally unbalanced.

Dave received his paycheck, but it did not include the overtime we were expecting. (Sorry economy! This consumer will be spending Black Friday at home.)

When I got to my walking place, everyone was walking the track opposite the usual direction. Somehow, this made it difficult for me to get started. I stood at the entrance of the track, desperately wanting to walk in the regular direction. I contemplated this. Would I get in trouble for going against the flow? Eventually, I got on the track and walked with the crazies in the wrong direction, but only because it made my BIG boob protrude into the outside lane saving the rest of the walkers from being boob whipped by my freewheeling jumblies.

Julia was a maniac when I picked her up from school, but I took her to the party store anyway. I had to get boxes. It’s the time of the season when the love runs high and I make buckeyes with my pleasured hands! Julia talked the store clerk’s ear off about her “5 Tinkerbell birthday.” (FYI, her birthday is in June. She’s planning it already. Her guest list is up to 1,506 people, because she invites every.person.she.meets.) When the clerk asked when her birthday is and we discovered they had the same birthday, Julia ignored her. When I pointed it out to her she said, “I know, I know. We have the same birthday. I heard her.” I was so embarrassed. I apologized to the clerk, took Julia to the van and told her if she treated someone like that again, I’d take her birthday away. She told me I couldn’t do that. Ha! Wanna bet, kiddo? I gave you your birthday, I’ll take it right back.

Once I got home and Lucy nursed the HUGE boob back to it’s regular size, things improved. Coincidence?

Posted in Mommys Stuff | 7 Cool Kids Commented »

Nov

25

Shoeless Julia

by Leslie

“Come on! Let’s go! NOW.”
I hurry her out the door
and then slam it shut.

“Mom, I forgot shoes,”
she says, standing in her socks
on the cold, wet path.

“Oh my, Julia!
How do you forget something
important, like shoes?”

“It’s real easy, Mom.
You just don’t think about them
and don’t put them on.”

Posted in Daily Haiku | 2 Cool Kids Commented »

Nov

25

No, You Haven’t Read This Post Already. It Just Feels Like It.

by Leslie

I was back at the post office again today, mailing monkeys, because sock monkeys are all the rage this Christmas (yes they are!) and I had a deja vu. As I stood filling out my customs form (international monkeys! Woopah!), a woman walked in with an infant car seat carrier. The man working behind the counter greeted her and inquired about the baby nestled inside. How old? How big? How big at birth? He commented on how painful that must have been to deliver a baby that big, “I can’t imagine,” he said. And then he started to talk about his wife’s natural child birth.

Golly, this is familiar, I thought. Then, I looked up and saw it was THE postman talking.

He can’t imagine delivering a baby that big? I think that’s exactly what he’s doing. Imagining it. You can just tell. He asks how big the baby was, makes a comment like, “and you’re not very big,” and gets that same look on his face that Julia had when she tried to stick peas up Lucy’s nose.

Folks, it’s weird.

Then again, I fantasize that Jason Mraz lives in my cleavage.

Posted in Mommys Stuff | 8 Cool Kids Commented »

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