My first New Year’s Eve
with David home to kiss me
when the clock strikes twelve.


by Leslie

It’s the last day of 2008, so I thought I’d take a moment to share with you some things I’ve learned over the past year.

  1. Having two children isn’t twice as much work as having one. It’s more than that. Much, much more. And that much more if you have a puppy, too. Particularly if the puppy weighs more than your grandma.
  2. Having another child doesn’t double the love in your heart. It’s does more than that. And though less than a year may have passed since that child came into your life, it won’t feel like it. It’ll feel like she’s been a part of you forever.
  3. Being an only child may not be as awesome as you thought it was, because siblings are useful and parents are a handful.
  4. A good grandpa is impossible to replace.
  5. So is a good husband.
  6. Even though you’re trying to save money, there are some things that are still worth paying for. Like fabric softener and lean meat. Also, dog obedience training. Or counseling.
  7. Forgetting to feed 27 hungry cats is a mistake that’ll make you understand the victims in any zombie movie.
  8. Four-year-olds are smarter than you thought.
  9. Fish are ridiculously fragile. You can kill them with a hard stare.
  10. True friends are easy to discern. They read your blog, adopt your sock monkeys and rave about your buckeyes. They’re willing to invest in anything you put yourself into. And some days, that’s the very reason you choose to get up and live.

Happy New Year, readers. Thank you for being you.

Woke up this morning
and the Corvette has a flat.
Will it ever end?

I truly believe
that somewhere someone has a
Voodoo doll of me

And they’re dunking it
in the toilet, which is why
I’m drowning in shit.

There’s a little red Corvette parked in my driveway. And you should know that when I say little red Corvette, I’m actually singing it. Like Prince.

The Corvette is a loaner from my father-in-law while we work out our car situation. Our neighbors don’t know that, though. They only know that it showed up on Christmas and Dave has been driving it, which makes me look like the coolest wife ever.

I actually gave him the video game Spore for Christmas, which means I’m -3% as cool as they think I am.

Our Christmas Not On Christmas was wonderful, by the way. Julia found the Barbie and the Diamond Castle dolls she’d been longing for under the tree. Lucy got toys, but who the hell cares about that when they come wrapped in PAPER. We played together all day long. The whole family. And that was my best Christmas present.

Dave has been home for four whole days. He’s had the girls in his lap for most of that time. They can’t get enough of their daddy.

My Favorite People

This has given me plenty of time to build civilizations on that video game I gave him for Christmas. And that means I’m actually -112% cooler than the neighbors think I am.

Back to the DAILY
part of The Daily Haiku.
From now on. Promise.

keep looking »