Diet? What diet?
I’ve been eating like a pig.
It’s out of control!

I’ve drifted off course.
Tomorrow I start anew.
I HAVE to do it.

On Monday, I asked the internets: Haven’t you always wanted a monkey? And the answer was a resounding YES, we kind of do.

Thanks y’all. The monkey feels loved. Also a little conceited. The monkey keeps telling me, “I get more comments than you!” So, I’ll be happy to ship that crazy animal off to….

(This is where I announce the winner. You may want to make a drum roll sound.)

…STEPH! who was good enough to tease my brain with the following quote from Goodfellas: “As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster.”

Me, too, Ray Liotta.

I also wanted to be a good song and movie quote guesser, but I’m not one of those either. Of the quotes submitted (which were AWESOME, by the way), I got about 60% correct. That’s a D, folks. Maybe even a D MINUS.

Good thing I didn’t talk trash beforehand or I’d look even stupider than I do right now. (And don’t try to tell me stupider isn’t a word. I got a D MINUS. WHAT DO YOU EXPECT FROM ME?)

Thanks to everyone who entered. And thanks to those of you who didn’t enter, but secretly wanted to. Also, thank you to everyone that didn’t want to enter, but read my blog anyway. If you’re reading this at all, thank you. I like you. Come back tomorrow, okay?

Super Charge Me

by Leslie

zap! shock! crazy hair!
static electricity
the bane of my life

on the floor playing
listening to the radio
will school be canceled?

we play memory
we read book after book and
Yes! school is canceled!

we don’t rush to bed
we play another game and
read a few more books

Lucy rubs her eyes
I tuck the girls into bed
we talk in the dark

Can you name three things
that start with the letter M?
mommy, moon, magic

Yummy starts with y
Does great-grandpa know he’s dead?
And can he see me?

I love you, Mommy
and all I hear is breathing
I listen, content

The metaphoric planets of Grimmett aligned this morning and Dave was actually off work and home when Julia’s preschool was canceled due to weather and we were all together. Like a family or something!

By the time we rolled out of bed and tumbled down the stairs, we were a bit giddy from all the togetherness. Dave started making breakfast and singing Everybody Wang Chung Tonight. Because he’s kind of awesome.

Julia said, “Actually, I hate that song.”

Dave asked if I had it on iTunes so I could play it for her. Because that’s what you do when you really love someone: give them lots more of what they don’t want.

“I don’t have it on iTunes, but there’s always YouTube!”

God Bless The YouTube.

I found it and played it. Julia groaned and cringed while Dave and I performed. (When we’re being Wang Chung, Dave’s the blond and I’m the other guy, but you probably would have guessed that.) When the video was over, the little YouTubey options to Share or Replay popped up along with some recommended videos. And there it was.

A long forgotten Wang Chung video.

(I would embed it here if I could, but I can’t, so you’ll have to click the link to watch. Especially watch at 2:01. Trust me.)

How could I have forgotten this song? I LOVE THIS SONG. I love this song so much, I played it about six times, forced Dave, the kids and the cat to dance with me. And then I sat down here to tell you about it, because I LOVE IT SO MUCH. Thanks to this song, I just may be in a good mood for the rest of my life! I mean, I ju-

Okay. Hold up.

What do you do if your infant daughter is chewing on something small and dangerous? Do you:

A. Jump your ass up and take it from her so she doesn’t CHOKE TO DEATH.
B. Go eat some broccoli.
C. Sit welded to your chair as you scream, “She’s not supposed to have that!” until your wife gets up from across the room and takes it from her, notices the stink swirling about her, then changes the poopy that you already knew the kid made.

Guess which Dave chose.

Freaking buzz kill.

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