Jan
28
For All You FaceBookers!
by Leslie
FaceBook in reality.
Don’t remember who Tweeted
But it’s soooo funny
(P.S. You can follow me on Twitter. And follow my blog on Facebook. I’ll be your friend!)
Jan
27
The I Just Updated My Shit List Haiku
by Leslie
But, the few I do not like,
I really don’t like.
Jan
27
Dear Man Walking Behind Me On The Track Yesterday,
I wasn’t trying to annoy you by slowing down. I was hoping you’d pass me so I could pick my wedgie.
I found it quite curious that you would not pass, even when I slowed to nearly a stand still. Were you looking at my butt? It’s okay if you were.
Sincerely Chafed,
Leslie
Dear 6th Street Mail Man,
I’m sorry for laughing when you slipped, yesterday. I know you didn’t see me or hear me, but the way you jumped up and looked around made me think you would have been embarrassed had you known.
Take Care Of Your Tushy,
Leslie
Dear Propane Gas Delivery Man,
Thanks for rushing out here to fill our tank and for letting me know you’d arrived. I wasn’t trying to end our conversation by closing the door, I was hiding behind it so you wouldn’t see that I wasn’t wearing a bra. It was really cold out. I actually enjoyed your gas gauge anecdote.
Feeling A Tad Bit Nipply,
Leslie
Dear Julia,
I have to tell you the truth: I ate the last ice cream sandwich.
My Deepest Apologies,
Mommy
Dear Dave,
I ate your last 100 calorie cupcake pack. I also allowed Julia to believe that you ate the last ice cream sandwich. And I let her have Twizzlers for breakfast, but only because I lost a bet. She said she could fit into Lucy’s pants and I said, “No way.” It seemed like a sure thing.
I’m Real Sorry,
Leslie
Dear Blubher Overhaul,
I’ve been cheating on you.
With A Heavy Heart And Heavier Ass,
Leslie
Jan
26
restless, crying without end.
Lucy is teething.
Jan
26
Haven’t You Always Wanted A Monkey?
by Leslie
Because I’m very generous – or maybe because I really like visitors and comments and deep down inside I’m dreaming that I’ll become your favorite blogger ever – I’m giving away a super-terrific, one-of-a-kind sock monkey.
This monkey is the perfect companion for snuggles on cold, lonely nights and long talks about your feelings. The monkey won’t judge you for eating the entire carton of ice cream. And you won’t hear a giggle when you pretend to accept an Oscar, perform Free Bird as an encore or dance in a Justin Timberlake video.
Kids like them, too.
And guess what?
Monkey butt!
To enter to win, all you have to do is leave a comment on this post before January 30th at 10 p.m., Eastern Standard Time. I’ll select the sock monkey winner at random over the weekend. The winner will be notified via e-mail, so be sure to use a valid e-mail address in the comment form.
And, if you’re really cool and extra fun, include a favorite line from a song and/or movie in your comment. I’ll try to guess the title. I won’t even use Google. And, I’ll give you an additional entry in the giveaway.
You may also want to visit my sock monkey store on Etsy. Or subscribe to my blog feed. Because you’re cool like that.
And be sure to visit Bloggy Giveaways for more chances to win cool, free stuff!
Stuff I Do
-
Stuff You Should Do
You know, Stuff.
