Month: March 2009 (page 2 of 4)

Missing My Girls

Tonight I’m alone.
They are in another state –
And my poor heart aches.

Dave here filling in for Leslie as she attends a baby shower in PA. I’m sad being away from all of my girls.

An Angry Haiku by David

I’m wanting to leave
to feed my face full of food
wife wants to haiku

Riding Extreme Shotgun

I get annoyed by people who ride rightnextoteachother in pickup trucks. Like this.


I don’t know why. They aren’t hurting me. What does it matter if they sit like that? The passenger probably isn’t wearing a seatbelt, but whatever. Right? Chances are, they’re in love. Or maybe being kidnapped. But what does that have to do with me? Why do I care?

I don’t know, but I do. It irks me. I hate it. WHY DO THEY HAVE TO SIT LIKE THAT?

I have a theory.


I think the distance between the driver and passenger in a pickup truck is inversely proportional to the extent to which the passenger’s self-esteem is invested in the driver.

Any thoughts?

You Know What I’m Talking About

I bought a sports bra
to reduce all the jiggling
new problem: tube boob

Advice I Just Can’t Follow

the stylist tells me
not to wash my hair each day
just three times a week

And When I Say ‘Wood’ I Mean It The Naughty Way

I just got home from a complete spa treatment – a full hour relaxation massage, manicure, pedicure, wax, facial, hair and scalp treatment, hair style and make-up – courtesy of my husband, for our fifth anniversary.

See? Here I am –

After my spa treatment

– looking luminescent, which isn’t too hard when you’re posing next to a toilet.

He did good. Very, very good. I think I’d like to stay married to him for another five years.

In return, I gave him the traditional gift of wood.

S is for Spring And Other Pictures

a beautiful day
a free afternoon to play
how lucky are we?

My family



Daddy and his girl


s is for spring


Your Welcome Environment

Walmart. Every day.
I’m there, and I bring home bags.
Lots and lots of bags.

I could open up
an attraction: World’s Largest
Ball of Plastic Bags.

It seems so wasteful.
So, I bought reuseables.
I’m off plastic bags.

Saving The Environment

Any Love Is Good Lovin’ So He Took What He Could Get

Dave and I were circling the track at my walking place together last week when he said, “You know, Honey, you’ve really changed my life for the better. I don’t know if you realize it, but you’ve inspired me to do more than I ever dreamed I could. I’m so glad I married you. You are amazing.”

I gave him a sideways look and said, “Right back at ya, Grimmett,” because I’m not good at accepting compliments, at least the sincere ones. Then I gave him a slap on the ass. Because his ass is hot. And because I can.

He’d just finished a run and I figured he was probably still buzzing from the runner’s high, because me? Yeah, I’m not so amazing.

I used to be.

I used to be beautiful. And spontaneous and fun. Enthusiastic. Spunky. Cheerful. Confident. Happy. Giving. Thoughtful. I had grace. I was charming. I was inspiring.

Then, the path of my life took a turn. At a 90 degree angle. Straight downward.


And you know how something always lands on the coyote after he falls off a cliff in the road runner cartoons? That’s what it felt like happened to me. A couple of times.

Suddenly, I didn’t care about being beautiful. Spontaneity wasn’t fun and enthusiasm seemed risky. The world had disappeared out from under my feet. I lost the ability to trust, even myself. I couldn’t think of anyone else, only the pain I was feeling. And what did I have to give anyone? I was broken. I felt like I always would be.

But recently, something has changed.

I feel like I’ve clawed my way up out of that pit I fell into. I’m still a little beat up and dirty, but I’m back in the world. I can see people and things around me again. And that girl I used to be is still there. With every pound of weight I lose, I get closer to her.

If Dave thinks I’m amazing now, just wait. He ain’t seen nothin’ yet.


My Glitterrific Makeover

“anything can be
beautiful if you just add
a little glitter”

– Julia

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