Month: April 2009 (page 1 of 4)

Maybe It’s Because I Have Some Of Her Less Appealing Qualities

Jon and Kate splitting?
I care about it more than
I probably should.

Hairy Is The New Sexy! Who’s With Me?

there’s only one thing
I dislike about warm days
shaving my damn legs

there’s always a spot
in a conspicuous place –
like my knee – I miss

the hair grows right back
I have to shave every day
and my razor sucks

She May Turn Out Alright, In Spite Of Having Me For A Mother

Julia has been known to utter a naughty word now and then, as documented here and here. Also here. And here. As well as here. And coming soon here:

We were watching television when we saw a preview for an upcoming television show during which a character said, “What a pain in the-” but was cut off before he could finish the sentence.

“He was going to say ass,” Julia told me. “What a pain in the ass.”

“Yeah? How do you know?”

“Well, you say What a pain in the ass.”

“That’s true,” I admitted. Then I launched into my usual response where I caution her not to repeat a phrase like that at preschool or playgroup or to Daddy or Grandma or Grandpa, or anywhere she may risk offending someone.

“But I can say it to you.”

“I don’t mind, obviously, since I’ve said it. It doesn’t offend me.”

“Well, um, it kind of offends me.”

“What? When I say it?”

“Sometimes.”

“Really? Really? Well, really? Okay. I’ll stop saying that around you. I’m really sorry I offended you, Jules.”

“That’s alright, Mom. You’ll do better.”

I was the proudest two inch tall woman, ever.

I Should Call It My Not-To-Do List

Why is it that I
want to do everything but
what I need to do?

I Wish I Had Taken My Camera

a day at the park
picnic lunch, playground, a walk
my girls, Dave, and me

As Far As Losers Go, I Am The Biggest

Dear Readers,

I won. I am The Biggest Loser.

Biggest Loser!

As you can see in the photo above, I’m pretty darn happy about it. Julia, too. It felt good to win. Then, I came home, went to bed, got up this morning and it still felt good. Really, really good.

I lost 38 pounds or 14.67% of my body weight during the twelve weeks of the contest, and that’s a difference that looks like this:

Before The Biggest Loser After The Biggest Loser

Since I made my I Vow To Lose Weight So You Won’t Be Ashamed To Hang Out With Me At BlogHer video in November, I’ve lost 53 pounds or 19.34% of my body weight. And that, looks like this:

Before After

Before - side After - side

It’s unbelievable, right? How much Lucy’s grown? She’s so big! (I’m also a teeny bit smaller.)

I am 86 pounds away from my goal weight, which is a lot better than being 136 pounds away from my goal weight. Of 135.

So now, when someone wants to insult me with a You’re soooo fat! I can be all, “Hey! You better take a couple o’s out of that soooo, Hammerhead!” And then I can give them an 86 pound sack of – I don’t know – something, like poop! ha ha! and challenge them to a race. Because I ran more than a mile and a half in twenty minutes today and they probably can’t, at least not with an extra 86 pounds on them. And if they can, I’ll just push them down at the end, right into that sack of poop. That’ll show ’em. You don’t mess with a fat girl that’s not as fat as she used to be! Although I’m not sure how I’d go about procuring a poop sack, but it really doesn’t matter. No one really calls me fat, at least not to my face. I was just working out a way to tell you that I ran more than a mile and a half in twenty minutes, because I’m kind of proud of that. You know, that I ran more than a mile and a half in twenty minutes. Without stopping.

Love,

The Biggest Loser Who Ran More Than A Mile And A Half In Twenty Minutes Without Stopping

Humiliation, Telephone Edition

radio station
has a contest every day
awesome giveaways!

to win, all you do
is answer the trivia
question correctly

I heard the question
and I knew the answer! so
I dialed the number

when a man answered
I blurted, “It’s pick your nose!”
answered right, dialed wrong

Well, I Made It

The last workout is over. All that’s left is the final weigh-in and The Biggest Loser contest I started 12 weeks ago will be finished.

I think I have a good chance of winning.

All along I’ve been saying that I’m already a winner because I’ve improved my health and fitness and quality of life and blah blah blah. Sure, that’s all true. But I also really want to win. I confessed that to some stranger I befriended at the walking place earlier this week and they asked, “So, what do you win?” And honestly? I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. I don’t care if the prize is a high five. I WANT TO WIN. Because I’m competitive. Also, because it would give credence to the extraordinary effort I’ve put forth this past three months.

Losing this weight has been the biggest challenge of my life. Because it’s not just about losing weight. It’s also about resolving the problems that put it there in the first place. That’s been hard. But, I’ve discovered that, just like Winnie the Pooh, I am braver than I believed, stronger than I seemed and smarter than I thought. Knowing that makes the rest of the weight I have to lose feel possible.

I needed this experience.

I will be forever grateful to my trainer Michelle for making it happen and to all the incredible people who have encouraged and supported me. I’ve appreciated every, “You’re doing great!” and “We’re so proud of you!” A woman I walked with last week summed it up perfectly when she said, “You aren’t doing this alone. We’re all with you.” I have been awed by the enthusiasm and sincerity with which so many people have been willing to care about me. The world is a much better place when you surround yourself with people like that. And I’d like to honor those people – you – with a win. We’ll see what the weigh-in brings! Win or lose, I’ll post the results along with some before and after pictures. Because I love you best.

Dandelions

some think they’re just weeds
they work tirelessly to
make them go away

children see beauty
a treasure trove of playthings
a blanket of gold

Lucy loves dandelions

Crawling in the dandelions

Clapping in the dandelions

The Little Things

Lucy and I walk
along a trail at the park
flowers everywhere

If she were with us,
she would pick some for me, so
I pick some for her

I show up at school
with a bouquet in my hand
her smile is priceless

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