Apr
14
The Preacher Man
by Leslie
There’s a guy we often see at the walking place. Dave calls him The Preacher Man. The Preacher Man likes Dave. He talks while Dave shoots baskets in the gym. Sometimes Dave will emerge from the court looking weary and I’ll say, “Preacher Man?” And he’ll say, “Yep.”
I’d never interacted with The Preacher Man, although I once saw him give some lady an object lesson about The Trinity using Hershey Kisses. Another time, I overheard him tell a story about how he thwarted a doctor in a mental institution with a wristwatch. I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, but when someone behind you is shouting, “Bastard! YOU.BASTARD!” well, you can’t help but listen in.
Today we bumped into him in the parking lot on our way in to run and had the following conversation.
“Ha ha ha! There he is! I knew you’d show up. Aha!” He pointed at Lucy. “And Jr. Cheeseburger!”
“Hehe. Yep.”
“Little fella- actually, that’s a girl, right? That’s a little girl!”
“Indeed she is.”
“Well, I always see the short hair and think well, I saw in the paper that there were these horses and they were starved. STARVED HORSES! They had scraggly hair because they were STARVED! And that’s abuse. It’s animal abuse. But sometimes we do more for animals than we do for people. I mean, starving. What a horrible way to die! You know, Jesus died. He wasn’t starved to death, but he was starved for our affection.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Those are facts. That’s not me saying that. THAT’S IN THE BIBLE! And I believe the Bible and every word it says!”
“Alright, have a good one.”
Dave and I walked through the first set of doors into the walking place. I turned to him with a confused look on my face.
“Preacher Man.”
“Yep.”
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Ooooooh. Aaaaah.
Um yeah. Wow. That guy has a very ’special’ way of seeing things. I think Dave is a saint for having to endure many a lovely chat with him. I would probably run screaming after a while, unable to tell him to go away for fear of being mean but unable to endure any more!
I would be pretending not to understand English around him! Or that I was deaf!
Wow! Are you familiar with the comedian Lewis Black? He does this bit about how he overheard a conversation once in IHOP where this girl says, “If it wasn’t for my horse, I never would have made it through that year of college.” And he talks about how that statement swirled around in his head for days and it was all he could think about until it almost drove him insane. I think the preacher man bit is my, “If it weren’t for my horse.” Your poor thing. And just think, you most likely will have to interact with him again. Wow!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lak-5I6jdhQ
Here is the youtube link to the “If it weren’t for my horse” bit. Ignore the cartoon with it. Enjoy! You’re welcome
See, this is why I’m afraid to exercise.