Month: August 2009 (page 2 of 4)

Just One More Night That Hell’s Kitchen Remains Unwatched On The DVR

a late night work out
now my family’s sleepy
I’m raring to go

This Is Me Talking To Me

So, you’d think the way I’ve been cleaning that my house would be immacculate.

It isn’t.

The stove is clean, except for a few stray non pariels from my last cookie baking bender. The fish tank is, well, as clean as anything where the inhabitants eat and poop concurrently can be. And my refrigerator seals are sparkling, as are my soap trays, window sills, and computer keyboards. But I’m typing this with my feet in a pile of discarded moon sand and fruit loops. I’m facing the corner, because if I turned around, I’d be overwhelmed by a littered wasteland of Barbie dolls, Lego blocks, broken crayons and stuffed animals dressed in a certain five-year old’s underwear.

Somehow, scrubbing grout seems less overwhelming than digging out after an atomic play day or six.

Today is the day I MUST do it. I have no more excuses. This is actually the perfect time. After a few crazy busy weeks, things are shockingly quiet. I’m in limbo. Summer activities have come to a close, but school has yet to begin. My Kindermusik training is complete, but I’ve yet to receive my license to begin work “officially.” Now is the time to clean and get organized. So I’m going to do it. I am going to do it NOW.

Right after I go running.


I stand at the sink
Lucy putters behind me
a buzz of busy

the room grows quiet
I call “Lucy, where are you?”
giggles from above

the top of the stairs
she stands, arms raised in a V
“I go up!” she shouts.

I Feel The Need, The Need To Clean

I think I’m having a sort of identity crisis. Or something. Things are not right with me. Case in point: yesterday, I cried for twenty minutes and then cleaned the fish tank. For two hours. I made six different to-do lists. Later, I deep cleaned the stove just to sully it by baking two dozen cookies of which I ate five. Who does this stuff? Someone who is having a crisis of some kind. Obviously. Me.

I think a lot of this is coming from the fact that Julia starts Kindergarten next Thursday.

(I realize I stirred up a little confusion when I haiku-ed about our back to school bedtime. Let me clarify: school hasn’t started, yet; we’re just getting ready. Because there’s a big difference between waking up at 7 a.m. and whenever-the-hell-I-feel-like-it o’clock. I began Operation Back To School Bedtime when I wrote the haiku. Bedtime was 11 p.m. that night. Every night since then, I’ve made bedtime fifteen minutes earlier. I will do this until we go to bed early enough to get up early enough to get to school on time. In other words, when everyone is miserable.)

I’m really kind of having trouble with Julia going to Kindergarten. It’s ALL DAY Kindergarten. When am I going to see her? Never. That’s when. NEVER. Do you realize I may never know what she eats for lunch? Even if I pack her lunch, she could trade items or give them away. I’ll never know what she ate. For five years I’ve known. The bright side should be that I’ll get to give Lucy the kind of attention Julia got when she was the one and only, except that I’ve decided to go and get myself a job, kind of. I’m going to be teaching Kindermusik. It’s part-time and I am actually really, really, really excited to do it. It’s exactly the kind of thing I’ll be great at and I’m excited to earn some money. Okay, so I’m desperate to earn some money. But this is the sort of thing I’d do for free if I could live on warm feelings and smiles. So, Kindermusik is exciting! It’s a good thing! But! But. It changes everything. Just like Julia going to Kindergarten changes everything.

When I got pregnant with Julia, I was working. I liked working. I was good at it. Real good. I was gunning for a promotion until I reached the point in my pregnancy when I realized that there’d be a real human child for me to care for when it was all done and I wasn’t willing to give that newfound responsibility to someone else for even part of the day. So, I did a lot of research and compiled a presentation complete with charts and graphs for Dave about why I should stay home to care for our baby. He was on board before I started up the projector. And so, I became a stay-at-home mom. I attacked that role with the same gusto with which I worked any job I’d had. It was a big change. There was a lot of sacrifice. We sold off just about everything we owned and moved in with my parents in order to afford that maneuver. But, I could handle it. I went from giving 100% at a job to 100% at home. Now, for the first time I’ve got to split my 100% and I’m struggling to find some balance. How will I do it all? More importantly, how will I do it all well? I’m going to go clean the seals on my refrigerator door and think about it some more.

As Much As I Like To Take Credit For Her, She Was Probably Just Born A Genius

She heard Simple Gifts
then went to the piano
and PLAYED IT by ear.


I wanted to blog
but she asked me to snuggle
and so I snuggled

Yet Another Way She Has Called Me Fat

Julia had cause to ask me what a surrogate mother was recently. I explained that a surrogate mother gets pregnant and has a baby for someone else. She had many, many, many, many questions. I answered them all to the best of my ability, which means I let her watch Baby Mama. Not really. Okay, maybe.

Later, Julia approached me. “Mom, when I’m growed up and become a mom, I want you to be the surrogacy.”


“When I’m growed up and have a baby, the doctor can put it in your tummy when it’s really tiny and you can be pregnant and give it to me when it comes out. That way, my tummy won’t stretch out and they won’t have to cut it open.”

“Honey, I think you’re missing the point. Anyway, they don’t always have to cut your tummy open to-”

“Mom! The other way is even worse! So, you can do the surrogacy for me. Your tummy’s already stretched out, anyway.”

This Isn’t Me Blowing You Off. This Is Me Blowing In Your Ear, Because Damn, You’re Fine.

I’ve been neglectful
but don’t worry, I’ll catch up
soon, I promise. Soon.

This Is The Post Where Someone Wins At Haiku. I Call Them The Haiku Buckaroo.

If I’ve learned anything from The Haiku Buckaroo contest, it’s that y’all are awesome. Your entries were incredible. The truth is, I probably couldn’t win my own contest. And I write a haiku every day. But! Writing haiku isn’t about being the best, it’s about having fun and being creative. Except for right now, because I’m going to announce the winner which is about nothing but being the best.

According to tradition, the winner was chosen by the reigning Buckaroo, Res from Just Because! Here are the results.

Haiku Buckaroo Honorable Mention

My bladder was mine
Until Baby came along
Now my pants are wet

Submitted by Mickey

Haiku Buckaroo Honorable Mention

instructions not is
IKEA this assembl’d
Haiku read an the

Submitted by Goofball

Haiku Buckaroo Honorable Mention

He can count to ten
and onward to seventeen
but fourteen’s said twice

Submitted by Mo’Jenn

Haiku Buckaroo Honorable Mention

Haikus need humor.
I’d write more about it but
I have to go pee.

Submitted by Lilacspecs

Haiku Buckaroo Honorable Mention

match made in heaven
teenager plus new x-box
true love forever

Submitted by Mo’Jenn

Haiku Buckaroo Honorable Mention

My shoulder is sore
so I can’t lift anything
which comes in handy.

Submitted by Goofball

Haiku Buckaroo Honorable Mention

My Purpose
Warm little boy arms
Wrap around my waist (surprise!)
“I love you, Mommy.”

Submitted by Allyson at Maid for Motherhood

Haiku Buckaroo Third Place

Bright in my garden
the nightly dancing faeries
fireflies alight

Submitted by Mo’Jenn

Haiku Buckaroo Second Place

Look into my eyes.
Some words must never be said
But you can feel them.

Submitted by Tanja

Congratulations to the Honorable Mentions and Place Mentions! Feel free to grab a button for your blog.

Haiku Buckaroo Button (White) Haiku Buckaroo Button (Black)

And now…you wanted the best…you got the best.


baby in the house
bleary eyes for tiny toes
a worthy exchange.

Submitted by Toni at This Simple Life

Res says, “My babies are 9 and 12 and this one still rings true!!!!”

Congratulations, Toni! You’ve won:

A Magnetic Poetry Haiku Kit

A Haiku Buckaroo Mug

A Threadless Haiku T-shirt (in the size of your choice)

$25 via PayPal (or a gift card, if you’d rather)

Don’t forget to display the super-cool button on your blog, Haiku Buckaroo! Wear it with pride, Winner!

Thank you to Res for choosing the winner. It’s a hard job! I’m glad I didn’t have to do it. And thank you to all the Haiku Buckaroo participants with your brave hearts so full of love. You make me happy.

They Say The Early Bird Gets The Worm. So What? What Am I Gonna Do With A Worm Anyway?

the bedtime is back
bye late nights and late mornings
hello back to school

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