Every year at Christmas, I display all of the Christmas cards I receive. Outwardly, I’m pretty casual about it. “Oh yeah, the cards? They do look nice, don’t they? Are there a lot? Oh, I hadn’t really noticed. You didn’t send any this year? That’s okay! Who needs a card when we can say Merry Christmas to each other!” But inside, I want the card. I need the card. Finding that sturdy envelope in red or green or decorated with some festive clipart among my boring other mail feels almost as good as eating a doughnut. I post them around the archway between the living and dining rooms so I can dance and twirl beneath them and feel popular loved. Also, so everyone who visits will see that I am popular loved.

My ex-mother-in-law used to display her cards, too. I was always envious of her heaps of cards until I found out that she was displaying cards from previous years along with new ones, which, clearly, is cheating. Dave says you can’t cheat at Christmas cards. I say Dave should shut up about things he doesn’t understand.

I label everyone I know as either card friendlies or hostiles. You may not remember if you sent me a card last year, but I do. And did I send you one? OF COURSE I DID.

One year, I got 73 cards. SEVENTY-THREE CARDS. That’s not even counting the unpostable Christmas letters. And it felt great. Until last year when I only got 16. Then it felt terrible, because I know I can get 73 cards but didn’t and therefore have fallen out of favor with at least 57 people to the extent that they now regard me as unworthy of a Christmas greeting. Probably even more people feel this way because I’ve met more people since my great year of yuletide abundance and yet my card count continues to decline. I must be an asshole. Or maybe it’s because I married Dave.

So far this year, I’ve received one card.

I haven’t hung it yet, because it’d look pathetic hanging up all by itself. What’s worse is that it isn’t even signed by a human being. It’s stamped. And it only came because I pay the sender every month for a service. Everyone who pays them gets a card. Technically, it’s not even for me because it isn’t my name that’s on the bill. It’s Dave’s. How fair is that?

Now I am faced with the real possiblity of not having enough cards to display, because we all know you need at least ten to justify hanging them and I’ll be honest, I’m tempted to cheat. Dave says even if I do, no one will care but me. So I just punched Dave in his cellulitis leg. He’s unconscious, but quiet. FINALLY.

Anyway, is it cheating to ask for Christmas cards? Probably. So, how about this? If you e-mail me your address (to admin [at] mymommysplace.com), I’ll send you a Christmas card with a return address on the envelope that you may or may not notice. Fa la la la la, la la la la!


Comments

36 Cool Kids Commented

  1. allyson on December 7, 2009 8:48 pm

    Oh my gosh, I do the same thing! I post the cards in the archway too, to feel “loved.” And so far this year, I’ve also received only one lowly card!! I’m sending you an email with my address right now! We’ve got to support each other! ;)

    Allyson

  2. Leslie aka Tootsie on December 7, 2009 9:23 pm

    I read the first line of your email and rushed out to mailbox. DENIED. So sad. I love getting photo cards and save them all.
    If you send me one, I’ll send you one!

  3. Toni on December 7, 2009 9:49 pm

    I have three so far … all with stamped signatures. I think people get so caught up in electronic ways of communicating nowadays that handwriting a Christmas card seems like too much work. Not me though – consider me in on the card exchange.

  4. mackey on December 8, 2009 1:06 am

    You were already on my Christmas card list. Your card is done. And I do believe I sent you one last year,no?

  5. Chris H on December 8, 2009 1:25 am

    I don’t send cards, I don’t expect cards. I’m sorry you have only one so far…. it could be a sign of the times?

  6. Amy on December 8, 2009 6:29 am

    Ours will be in the mail in a few days. I just got them in yesterday. Hang on Honey, it’s coming : )

  7. Amy on December 8, 2009 6:30 am

    PS Also, I do the same thing…hang all of the cards. We haven’t gotten one yet either. I feel so unloved : (

  8. Average Jane on December 8, 2009 10:37 am

    I haven’t gotten any this year yet, but that’s probably because I haven’t sent any in, oh, about five years.

  9. Jacquie on December 8, 2009 12:43 pm

    I love filling up my card tree. I would love to exchange cards with my sock making buddy :)
    Do you still have my addy lying around from the orders I’ve done??

  10. Karen on December 8, 2009 3:38 pm

    You crack me up! I hang my cards too. But this year, I am technically still homeless, so I’m not sending out cards and I don’t expect to receive any. BUT, I still hand-write letters and thank you notes all year long. So I hope no one will feel like I don’t love them this year!

  11. Karly on December 9, 2009 11:42 am

    I mailed you a card a couple days ago! :)

  12. Amanda on December 9, 2009 8:22 pm

    I’ve gotten one little card. It’s lonely. Want to exchange cards? I’m doing mine right now.

  13. Wendy on December 9, 2009 8:49 pm

    Les, I haven’t forgot about you! I am just way behind on everything from cards to shopping to laundry & house cleaning, etc. etc. But guess what – exciting news – this year you will get a family picture with your card. (It’s about time since the last one we had done was only 4 years ago.)

  14. Lilacspecs on December 10, 2009 12:51 am

    We typically get cards here for New Years, not Christmas, but if you feel like buying an international stamp, we can certainly exchange Christmas cards.

  15. goofball on December 11, 2009 8:10 am

    A lot of cards I get only have a general “Merry christmas …x” on it. I don’t feel loved then, I feel a number to be ticked of on the “to write” list. A chore that has been accomplished.

    So I want to write something personal on each one I send. But then again, I only want to do so for my best friends & family, people I really do want to be in touch with. If you don’t feel spontenously a personal wish when you start writing, then I don’t think you should send a card either. But in all honesty, I don’t have the guts to leave the impersonal ones unanswered either. But those are a chore to be accomplished to me too. And very often I only accomplish sending cards mid January.

    In Europe cards are only sent in the Christmas week anyway, i’d have a heart attack if I had already received a card by now! …hmm I just did yesterday as a matter of fact but sent by a foreigner :p

  16. Addison on December 15, 2009 5:56 pm

    The only Christmas card we’ve gotten so far is the one from you! :)

  17. Scout's Honor on December 27, 2009 3:21 pm

    I didn’t send cards this year … or last. Guilty! but I love getting them and have special displays all over the house. I only got 40 this year–sigh, but it’s what I deserve.

    As for the ex-mil cheating? Now that is funny!!!!

  18. Leslie on December 27, 2009 5:45 pm

    Allyson – I got your card yesterday! I love the pictures of Cole. He is so, so cute. Thank you!

  19. Leslie on December 27, 2009 5:46 pm

    I know it’s totally late now, but if you e-mail me your address, you’ll get a card from me, too!

  20. Leslie on December 27, 2009 5:48 pm

    Do I have your address? Is it too late? E-mail me your address!

  21. Leslie on December 27, 2009 5:51 pm

    Your card is one of the few I’ve received with a hand-written note. And I loved it! Of course, I didn’t hand-write anything on mine. I blame that on the flu. Dumb old virus!

  22. Leslie on December 27, 2009 5:52 pm

    You did! You’re on my list, too. Forevermore!

  23. Leslie on December 27, 2009 5:53 pm

    I think it is a sign of the times! Christmas cards and homemade cookies are on the decline. They are still some of my favorite things, though!

  24. Leslie on December 27, 2009 5:54 pm

    Your card was beautiful. Amy, you have a beautiful family!

  25. Leslie on December 27, 2009 5:55 pm

    I feel sort of silly because I did all this complaining and then I sent mine out late!

  26. Leslie on December 27, 2009 6:01 pm

    I bet it feels sort of liberating about sitting out on the whole Christmas card thing, but I’d miss it. It’s almost silly how much I look forward to giving and receiving them.

  27. Leslie on December 27, 2009 6:02 pm

    Yes I do! Hopefully, you’ve already gotten my card!

  28. Leslie on December 27, 2009 6:04 pm

    You hand-write letters? That’s awesome! I hand-write my thank you notes, but letters? I can’t remember the last hand-written letter I wrote….or received. But there’s something so special about it.

  29. Leslie on December 27, 2009 6:05 pm

    It’s hanging above me right now!

  30. Leslie on December 27, 2009 6:06 pm

    Is it too late? I have an address for you, but I think it may be an old one…

  31. Leslie on December 27, 2009 6:07 pm

    I got your card! I absolutely love the family picture! And wow, Casey is growing fast!

  32. Leslie on December 27, 2009 6:08 pm

    Absolutely! Hopefully you’ll have yours before New Years!

  33. Leslie on December 27, 2009 6:10 pm

    I had high hopes of writing personal messages along with my cards, but after all this, I struggled to get mine out in time. Daggone flu!

  34. Leslie on December 27, 2009 6:10 pm

    40? I have Christmas card envy!

  35. Goofball on December 28, 2009 8:59 am

    mine just got sent….hurray hurray before New Year :p

  36. I’m not sendin’ them this year, that’s it! : My Mommy's Place on December 12, 2012 11:29 am

    [...] I have some strong feelings about Christmas cards, but is it just me, or are people not into sending them so much anymore? (They’re not.) I haven’t received a single card this year! Of course, I haven’t sent any, either, and – get ready for this – I’m not going to. I know. I know! It’s just so hard to justify the expense if people aren’t sending them, especially when you can go the way of the fast, easy and free electronic holiday greeting. Sending a Christmas card this year would be like giving gifts of money in doubloons or something. [...]

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