You know you’re a real grown-up when you’re so draggin-ass tired you fall asleep on the couch and there’s no one to carry you up to bed. In fact, you not only have to take yourself upstairs, but also two smalls humans, a cat and your heating pad. And the stuff that keeps you up at night are things like that jerk who reprimanded your daughter right in front of you when HELLLOOOO! Iâ€™m her mom. I WILL TAKE CARE OF MY CHILD. If you have a problem with her behavior, the appropriate thing is to TAKE IT UP WITH ME.
Consequently, it seems like the people who think itâ€™s okay to reprimand other peopleâ€™s children right in front of them tend to be clueless about their own. Go ahead and chastise my daughter for picking her nose while yours is eating her own boogers. Yeah, you’re better than me. Perhaps itâ€™s because it happens to them â€“ people jump in to parent their children â€“ and thatâ€™s where they began to think it was okay to be a-holes. I have news: IT IS NOT.
My loathing for people like this is equal to the depth of my love for The Joker by The Steve Miller Band.
The same goes for unreliable people who act like Iâ€™m the unreliable one. Please do not judge me for your shortcomings.
Oh, and beat-around-the-bushers. Spit it out for the love of cookies. If you donâ€™t have the cajones to say what you want to say, swallow it. I donâ€™t have time to decode your mystery message.
Now I feel compelled to show you the videos Iâ€™ve made for our playgroup over the past three years. But I canâ€™t because I havenâ€™t asked permission. So I just watched them and cried because I love them so much. Also because the lady waxed my eyebrows a little too much today and I look perpetually surprised.
Iâ€™m going to go eat a doughnut and some sweet gherkin pickles.