Oct
24
One of the things Dave claims he cannot understand about me is my love for Barry Manilow. And Neil Diamond. As if he doesn’t get it. (Don’t let him fool you. America is on the playlist for his Fantasy Rock Concert at Bathroom Arena. And he knows all the words to Mandy.) I mean, come on. How many men can wear a chest-bearing shirt that’s glittery, sequined or otherwise embellished in a sparkly fashion and still be sexy? Only men who know and can sing about love and desire like Barry and Neil.
I used to listen to Could It Be Magic and gaze at the cover of my mom’s Manilow Magic: The Best of Barry Manilow album when I was younger.
It may have inspired my first impure thought. That is, if it wasn’t Hanky Panky and the cover of Tommy James and the Shondells 26 Great Hits.
Look at that chest hair!
Now, Phoebe absolutely despises her car seat. (I know, it seems unrelated. It’s not.) But she doesn’t hate it as much as she likes Barry Manilow. (See?) So we’ve been listening to him a lot in the car, lately. We listened to him on the way to piano class this week. I sang along loud enough that Julia shrunk down in her seat at stoplights because she was certain the people in the cars around us could hear what I was rocking out* to. Phoebe went to sleep, which was great for the car ride, but not so great for piano class where she refused to sleep and demanded to nurse which the teenagers in the waiting room found apalling. I could tell by the sideways glances followed by eyerolls and furiously typed text messages. (I wonder if I made someone’s Facebook page. OMG! There’s a woman breastfeeding right next to me! Ewwww!)
After class, Julia asked that we listen to NOT-Barry Manilow. So, I put Phoebe back in her car seat and she screamed our way to Wal Mart. I wept at the fact that Dave has brainwashed Julia to believe she’d rather listen to the siren-like wails of an angry baby puncuated by my choruses of “I told ya so” and “Happy now?” than Barry Manilow.
I wrapped Phoebe in the Moby when we got to the store because she won’t do the carry-along car seat in the cart, even if I sing Weeked in New England as we shop. (There’s just no substitute for Mr. Manilow.) Her wails simmered to whimpers as she settled into my chest, then spit up between my breasts and fell asleep.
This is life without Barry Manilow. Screaming. Wailing. Bathing in a vile, putrid-smelling substance with the eternal fire of unrequited desire for soft, romantic music burning in my heart. Add some gnashing of teeth and I think that’s called hell.
(*Dave feels that it is impossible to “rock out” to Barry Manilow and believes I should call it something else. I feel that Dave is jealous of Barry and believe he should get over it because on more than one occasion, Barry’s aphrodisiac qualities got him laid.)
Oct
13
On Loving
by Leslie
to anyone when you know
they love and are loved
somebody loves them – the way
you love your children
they love – or deserve to love
someone this way, too
Oct
13
Spooktacular Salt Dough Ghosts
by Leslie
Your kids will have a scream making these boo-tiful ghosts from a simple salt dough recipe. They’re perfect for a party favor craft, decoration or just plain fun! Here’s what you need to make them.
Supplies:
- 1 cup of flour
- 1 cup of salt
- 1/2 cup of water
- Bowl
- Wooden spoon
- Microwave-safe plate
- Black Marker
Directions:
- Combine the flour, salt and water in a bowl and mix using a wooden spoon.
- Divide the dough and shape into ghosts.
- Place the ghosts on a microwave-safe plate and heat them in the microwave for 30 seconds at a time (up to a total of 2 minutes) until dough is firm. Let cool.
- Use the marker to draw on eyes and a mouth.
Scary!
A few tips:
- If you’d rather not use the microwave, preheat the oven to 250 degrees and bake for approximately 2 hours.
- If the dough is too gooey, add some extra flour or pop it in the oven at 250 degrees until slightly warm.
- Get creative! Add food coloring to the dough and shape pumpkins or gravestones to create a spooky scene.
Originally written for and posted on the now-defunct My OH! Momma website.
Oct
13
My reinforcements are all back to work, so I went through the morning routine with all three girls on my own today. I had to get up about an hour and a half earlier than usual, but I’m proud to say, I did it! I managed to get all of us up, dressed and fed with no meltdowns or injuries. I even managed to get Julia to school on time.
I rewarded myself with a nonfat, sugar-free french vanilla cappuccino. WITH CAFFEINE!
I know it may seem a little premature, especially considering I still have to make it through after-school pick-up which requires parking the van, removing the children, walking to the school and physically retrieving Julia (Oh, how I miss preschool and the drive-up pick-up!), but I feel like a rock star.
My confidence is officially boosted.
Oct
11
Whoever came up with the idea to “sleep when the baby sleeps” had to have been the parent of just one child. Because if you have more than one, that’s actually really terrible advice. The only way you can actually accomplish this is if you 1) lock up your house so tight even Houdini couldn’t escape it, and 2) are totally willing to lose any of the contents in your home. Otherwise, you may wake up and find your six-year-old outside with no shoes on in 50 degree weather trying to fill up the paddling pool with the hose, the toddler naked – except for the marker she’s colored herself and the hardwood floors with – taking a singular bite out of each potato in the bin, and a cat trapped in a drawer. I won’t even tell you about the toothpaste.
It’s amazing what children can accomplish in fifteen minutes. If only they were able to muster that kind of enthusiasm, determination and ingenuity when I ask them to clean up.
In other news, I’m starving. ALL THE TIME. I think it’s the tandem nursing. At least I hope it is and I’m burning up all the calories I’m consuming. If not, somebody better get a crane on standby, because I’m eating enough to be housebound in a matter of weeks.
It doesn’t help that McDonald’s has Monopoly right now.
How soon can you start running after a c-section?
I’m still caffeine-free, though. So that’s something.
Stuff I Do
-
Stuff You Should Do
You know, Stuff.
