My fish have been exhibiting some strange behavior. I’m pretty sure I’m thinking about it way more than I should. But that’s a normal reaction to something you don’t understand, right? I’m not the weirdo. It’s the fish. The fish are weird.

These are the guys I’m talking about.

Rick and Steve

The black and white on the left – let’s call him Rick – and the white one with the heart tattoo on the right is Steve. Yes, Steve has a tattoo. Apparently they can do that for fish. I’m not sure how it was determined that Steve was desirous of ink or in which configuration he wished for it to be applied. That’s the job of a fish whisperer, which clearly I am not. We only came to know Steve after he did some living. Obviously. My guess is that he’s had his heart broken. He could be bitter. I don’t know. I give him his space. Rick, on the other hand, does not. Rick likes Steve. Very much. Rick likes to chase Steve.

Rick chases Steve

See? Look! There they go.

Rick. Rick Rick.

Rick? Whatcha doin’ there, buddy?

Rick also likes to stuff his face all up in Steve’s hind quarters. Like this.

Back off, Rick.

Oh, Rick.

And this.

What are you doing, Rick?

What are you DOING, Rick?

Also this.

Um...Rick?

For real, Rick? Come on!

Rick does this ALL. DAY. LONG. He’s doing it RIGHT NOW. I’m not sure if Steve feels pestered or pleasured. Fish aren’t all that expressive. It’s hard to read them. Either way, it seems like something I should put a stop to, don’t you think?