I ran a little over one mile today. (Also yesterday.) On purpose. This is mostly because:

1) When the monster cupcakes were gone, Julia asked who ate the last one and then commented it was, “Probably Mommy.”

2) Lucy hugged me and snuggled close and said, “Mommy, your tummy is so big and soft like a pillow. I think it’s full of water!”

3) I saw some photos of me among a group of parade-goers that included a view of my backside. Now, I’ve spent plenty of time pulling, stretching and adjusting my shirts to cover my waterbed belly and create an illusion of shirt puff and, therefore, have grown quite familiar with its disturbing appearance, but the view from the back was a horrific shock. There’s so much junk in my trunk there is now (once again, unfortunately) a shelf above it to accommodate the excess. I voted myself “Most Likely to Appear on The People of WalMart website.”

4) I gained 12 pounds in 149 days.

5) I had to buy bigger underwear.

6) My friend Amy called me up (and by “called me up” I mean “sent me a message on Facebook.” Facebook is the new phone call.) and said, “Let’s go, baby. Let’s go, baby. C’mon! Take a cue from me now, I’m saying baby, let’s go!” (except it was more like, “OK, I have got to get back on the wagon…Wanna hop back on the wagon with me?” But I could feel that the message was sent in the spirit of Wang Chung.) And then I changed her ringtone on my phone from “Take Me Home Country Roads” by John Denver (which NEVER fails to make me cry) to “The Warrior” by Scandal, even though we never call each other unless you consider Facebook the new phone call in which case we call all the time. But it doesn’t involve a ringtone. Still, who you are to me is best summed up by the ringtone I’ve selected for you on my phone, whether you call me or not.

Anyway, I ran today. And after the running part, during the cooling down and walking home part, it started to rain. Hard. And a lot. My shoes got squishy and I pretended I was James Blunt in the “Beautiful” video except I kept my clothes on. I mostly walked sexy with a sultry expression and I don’t think he even does that in the video, but that’s what I was doing.

It’s been a long time since I pretended to be in a video. I think I’ll run again tomorrow.