I’ve become quite a worrier, which means my mind is rarely in the here and now. Sure, I may be physically present, doing something – cooking dinner, folding laundry, driving to the park – but in my head I’m thinking about how I’m going to afford this or how I wish I hadn’t said that. It’s a stressful existence. I’m not sure, maybe I’ve always been this way. Probably I have. (Yes, I have.) But it has definitely gotten much worse in recent years. I’m always barreling through something.
“If I can just get through this, then I can do that.”
“When the school year is done, I can relax. When the house is clean, I can enjoy myself.”
But I’m never there. There’s always something else to complete, another task to check off the list. So, I’m trying to focus a little more on the present – to try and live in the now and really BE HERE for the people I love.
It isn’t easy. And I need help doing it. So, I was thankful for Dave, who – after asking and asking – came and took my hand out of the dishwasher and led me outside to see Bee’s first ride on the tire swing all by herself.
“Look at that big girl.”
“Let Lucy have a turn.”
“Can we do it together? Come on, Bee!”
“Are you having fun?”
“Don’t forget Julia!”
How much have I been missing?