Step 1: Dump two cups of flour in a bowl.
Step 2: Taste the flour.
Step 3: Add one cup of salt to the bowl.
Step 4: Taste the salt.
Step 5: Dump 3/4 cup of water in the bowl.
Step 6: Mix the contents of the bowl with bare hands.
Step 7: Lick hands clean while Mom takes over.
Step 8: Flatten the dough on the table using hands or try a rolling pin. If that doesn’t work, sit on the dough.
Step 9: Use a star-shaped cookie cutter to make twinkle twinkle little stars. (Tip: It helps to sing the song.)
Step 10: Use a straw to poke a hole in the stars so you can hang them up.
Step 11: Blow through the end of the straw and shoot the dough piece lodged inside. Aim for your sister.
Step 12: Let your mom put the stars on a baking sheet and put them in the oven at 200 degrees for 20 minutes.
Step 13: Use your dough scraps to make Krabby Patties and eat them. They will taste terrible, but your mother’s reaction will be worth it.
Step 14: Paint your baked ornaments.
Step 15: Paint yourself.
Step 16: Paint your sister’s baked ornaments.
Step 17: Get chased from the table by your angry sister.
Step 18: Paint the space heater.
Step 19: Return to the table. There will be glitter.
Step 20: Add glitter to your ornament.
Step 21: Add glitter to your sister’s ornaments.
Step 22: Get chased from the table by your angry sister. (Don’t forget to take the glitter!)
Step 23: Put glitter in your diaper.
Step 24: Put glitter on the cat.
Step 25: Put glitter in the space heater.
Step 26: You are done! (You’ll know this for sure because your mom will tell you very loudly.)