Step 1: Dump two cups of flour in a bowl.

Step 2: Taste the flour.

Step 3: Add one cup of salt to the bowl.

Step 4: Taste the salt.

Step 5: Dump 3/4 cup of water in the bowl.

Step 6: Mix the contents of the bowl with bare hands.

Step 7: Lick hands clean while Mom takes over.

Step 8: Flatten the dough on the table using hands or try a rolling pin. If that doesn’t work, sit on the dough.

Step 9: Use a star-shaped cookie cutter to make twinkle twinkle little stars. (Tip: It helps to sing the song.)

Step 10: Use a straw to poke a hole in the stars so you can hang them up.

Step 11: Blow through the end of the straw and shoot the dough piece lodged inside. Aim for your sister.

Step 12: Let your mom put the stars on a baking sheet and put them in the oven at 200 degrees for 20 minutes.

Step 13: Use your dough scraps to make Krabby Patties and eat them. They will taste terrible, but your mother’s reaction will be worth it.

Step 14: Paint your baked ornaments.

Step 15: Paint yourself.

Step 16: Paint your sister’s baked ornaments.

Step 17: Get chased from the table by your angry sister.

Step 18: Paint the space heater.

Step 19: Return to the table. There will be glitter.

Step 20: Add glitter to your ornament.

Step 21: Add glitter to your sister’s ornaments.

Step 22: Get chased from the table by your angry sister. (Don’t forget to take the glitter!)

Step 23: Put glitter in your diaper.

Step 24: Put glitter on the cat.

Step 25: Put glitter in the space heater.

Step 26: You are done! (You’ll know this for sure because your mom will tell you very loudly.)

Salt Dough Ornaments