Today, I am 31 weeks pregnant and according to Jackson’s ultrasound measurements, he weighs about 5 pounds. This means he’s A Very Big Boy.

Jackson 30 weeks, 6 days

He’s also a very healthy boy, because today, for the first time, he scored in the healthy range on his biophysical profile. My big boy scored an 8! AND! And my amniotic fluid was measured at 36.5 cm when last time it was 38 cm and while they said the difference was negligible and not considered to be going down, but rather remaining stable, Dave and I still played The Safety Dance and did the robot on the way home in the car.

Sometimes you take a win wherever you can get it, even if you have to reach a bit. So, allow me to reach:

I’ve really never been a fan of the idea that Shit Happens. I’m more of fond of the idea that Shit Happens FOR A REASON. And it is usually my primary goal to find out what that reason is. So, I’ve been wondering why we’re experiencing all these issues with Jackson and this pregnancy. What did I do? What am I supposed to learn? And more to the point, How is this my fault? (Because I totally know it’s my fault.) What did I do? And while this all may just be a case of Shit Happening, it makes me feel better if I can discern something greater than that from it.

I felt like, maybe, I got that something today.

The doctor we met with this morning was a geneticist. She wanted to talk with us about Dave’s myotonia congenita and the possibility that Jackson has inherited it. In the past, we were told there was nothing we could do about Dave’s condition – it’s just something he has to live with. We hadn’t been encouraged to have the girls tested because the test (a muscle biopsy) is painful and, again, if there’s nothing that can be done about it, why? But today, we heard different. Today the doctor told us that absolutely there are things that could be done about it – things that mean Dave may not have to live with the symptoms of this disease for the rest of his life. We were told that if Dave underwent some genetic testing and DNA analysis, we could confirm his diagnosis and get specific about it – and from that information, we could also determine if any of the kids have it with a simple blood draw.

I don’t know. Maybe I’m just hanging on to anything that ends with my baby being born well, but I like the story that goes, “Jackson was born healthy, but if we hadn’t had all those issues during the pregnancy, we may have never found the treatment that makes Dave pain-free.” So, that’s the story I’m telling myself today.