You should know that under any other circumstances, I would never, ever, ever wear leggings. EVER. Leggings are not for me. They may be for you. And if they are, God bless you. They’re really not for me. They do not accurately convey my personal style, which could be summed up as follows: I DO NOT WEAR LEGGINGS. But right now, they’re the only thing I can tolerate on my belly. And I have to obey the belly. It’s holding 42 cm of amniotic fluid and a 7 pound 13 ounce human being in there. THE BELLY GETS WHAT IT WANTS. And it wants leggings.

You may be asking, “Well Leslie, what about a dress?” And I’ll tell you why, as soon as I stop laughing.

Anyway, I’m wearing leggings now and I’m real sorry about that. I hope you can take comfort in my promise to always pair them with a top that covers my baby belly in its entirety as well as, and even more importantly, my ass.

Thanks for understanding.