Jack: *coughs*

Lucy: “Oh, Jack. You have a bad cough.”

Phoebe: “Jack doesn’t have a bad cough. I have a bad cough.”
*coughs for emphasis*

Lucy: “Yes, but Jack’s sounds terrible.”

Phoebe: “Mine is worse. And I had mine first.”

Lucy: “No, Jack has been coughing a lot longer than you have, Phoebe.”

Me: “Are you guys really making this a contest?”

Jack: “No, Mom. It’s a cough-test.”